


Insane Together

by auroranor



Category: Naruto
Genre: Drama, Drama & Romance, Eventual Romance, Hidan curses a lot because its Hidan, I Don't Even Know, Its kinda a slow burn?, Kakuzu has anger issues but what else is knew, M/M, Multi, Naruto AU, Prepare to feel something, Romance, have fun, medium burn?, this is my swan song
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-02-23 03:30:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 36,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23405050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/auroranor/pseuds/auroranor
Summary: It's an asylum AU! After confessing to being the killer in a mass murder Hidan is institutionalized on the verdict of insanity. He denies that he will spend the rest of his life in the corrupt asylum until he meets the psychologist, Dr. Kakuzu Taki, who seems to be one of the only people who will really listen to him.
Relationships: Hidan/Kakuzu (Naruto), Hoshigaki Kisame/Uchiha Itachi, Konan/Nagato | Pain
Comments: 22
Kudos: 86





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Heyo! I've had this stashed away for who knows how long! Here it is. Enjoy it like your favorite cheese.  
> Also heads up- Hidan is a bit insensitive at times because he's, well, Hidan.

Hidan, a handsome twenty-two year old with slicked back silver hair and piercing violet eyes, fidgeted in the stiff wooden chair. He and his lawyer, a young woman with blue hair and a fierce reputation, waited for the jury to return with their final decision. 

"Konan this is taking too damn long,” Hidan pressed his fingernails into his palms underneath the table, “if those asses take any longer on this verdict thing I'm gonna have a fucking heart attack. Can you do something? Say something? Anything?"

"There isn't anymore we can do,” She said, “We did our best and now we can only wait."

Hidan put his face in his hands and rubbed his eyes. The past two in a half years had led up to this moment; going to court, and dealing with media assholes that stuck to him like parasites after this whole debacle went public. His face and story were everywhere and they all read similar headlines: "78 Killed In Bloody Cult Mass Murder", "Soul Survivor of Jashinist Cult Confessed To Killing", "Jashinist Cult Member Says Only Regret Is That He Wasn't Killed", "Jashinist Cult Member To Be Tried For Death Penalty", and, Hidan's personal tabliod favorite, "Is It Me Or Is The Jashinist Cult Killer Hot?" 

Just three years ago, Hidan was found in a bloody mess of bodies inside a large hostel, far outside the limits of the closest suburban city. He remembered fighting the police in the dark of night, and begging them not to drag him away from the bloodshed, but that was it. Hidan couldn’t remember what happened before and, if he was honest with himself, much of what happened after. The days bled together in a blur of lights, voices, and headaches. 

He also remembered the smell of the freshly dead. It was the one thing he couldn’t forget. For some reason his mind didn’t want to. 

After he was found he was brought to a hospital, where no wounds were found on his person save for a few scratches, and questioned by the authorities. Hidan tried to speak, but couldn’t quite come back to the reality of what was happening. 

“What’s your name, son?” The police officer asked.

“He’s in shock,” The other officer added. The first sighed and sat beside the hospital bed. 

“Look here, son-” 

“Don’t call me that,” Hidan’s eyes were dilated with adrenaline. The officer leaned forward with a furrowed brow. 

“What’s your name?”

“Hidan.”

“Can you tell us what happened?” 

Hidan looked around the small room like a mouse caught in a trap, “Where am I? I have to go home! Everyone is waiting for me!” Hidan tore the various tubes from his arms, trying to get up from the bed.

“Hold on now, son-” the officer tried to restrain Hidan back to the bed, but he gave him a bloody nose and swift kick to the gut. That was all he remembered of the hospital that night. He guessed they drugged him because when he came to he saw Konan, a childhood friend he hadn’t seen for years, and then was dragged off to a room where he was asked more questions.

For six months he stayed with Konan and her boyfriend, Pein, who didn’t ask many questions, although he made it obvious that he wanted Hidan out. Just before tensions started to become too much, Hidan got a call from a news broadcasting channel and was persuaded to do a live interview. Konan advised him to just forget the whole thing, move on, start a new life, but Pein suggested Hidan use the money to move out so, in a desperate attempt to do something other than sleep the days away, Hidan accepted the offer. 

But something went wrong during the live interview, and Hidan snapped. 

“Hidan,” The young reporter addressed him in a serious tone, “What do you remember from the commune?” 

“It’s not a commune,” Hidan spat at her, “It’s a church. A church I belong to. Not that anyone fucking understands.” For some reason small memories of his past were starting to flood his mind and it gave him a headache. The only thing he could focus on right now was a shiny red pen stuck behind the reporter’s ear.

The woman crossed one leg over the other, and shot a look that meant to say, “It’s rude to curse on live television”, but continued on instead with, “Hidan, we  _ all _ understand how horrible it must be to live through something like this.” 

Hidan held his throbbing head in his hands and moaned. The reporter motioned towards Hidan with a compassionate look. 

“You are not alone, Hidan. You may not know, but the nation is trying to find the person who did this, and why.” 

Hidan felt laughter bubble up from his stomach, but couldn’t stop the noise from escaping his lips, “You... you’re what?” 

“Hidan? Are you alright? This must be... very hard for you.” The reporter only hesitated for a second before returning to a steady tone, but Hidan’s laughter sent the studio into an eerie stillness. 

“You’re all- looking- for-,” Hidan was doubled over in laughter. 

“Are you okay, Hidan?” The reporter was becoming uneasy and unsure of what to do or say. Hidan’s shoulders shook with laughter, and as it subsided he took a few steadying breaths. 

“You’re looking for the one who killed the members of the church of Jashin?” 

“The church of... Jashin?” No one in the studio, let alone the millions watching the interview, were aware of this new information Hidan was giving. 

“Yes! The church of Jashin!” Hidan’s smile bordered on psycho as bits and pieces of memories started to plaster over some of the holes in his brain. 

“What… Is it?” 

Somehow, against all physics, Hidan’s smile grew even larger.

“It’s my home. A home to everyone really. No one was ever turned away. In fact, The Church of Jashin never discriminated against any race, gender, or sexuality!” 

The reporter tensed a bit and said, “That sounds.... nice.” 

“It sounds like paradise,” Hidan corrected. “And we promise paradise to all of our people as well,” Hidan stood up with hands clasped in prayer above his head. “Jashin saves all people through the one thing that unites us all.” 

“And, what- what is that?” The entire room tensed in horror at his response.

“Death.” 

“Death? Wha- What is it some kind of cult?” the reporter chewed her inner cheek so hard it bled. Hidan’s unfocused demeanor at the beginning of the interview was replaced with one of psychotic intensity. He whipped his gaze towards the reporter and lunged at her, trapping the her between himself and the chair. She shrieked in horror. 

“You’re an idiot! You’re all fucking idiots! I was chosen by the one and only god, Jashin himself, to guide my people towards paradise!”

The young woman was crying in the chair screaming for someone to help her. The camera woman ran on set to push Hidan off of the chair, but before she could try Hidan screamed at her and in panic she fell to the ground, terrified. 

Hidan turned back to the reporter with a grin, “ No one was murdered at the church of Jashin! They were saved! By me!” 

The woman’s face twisted in terror as she put his words together, How- How could you?!” 

Hidan looked at her in a moment of mock offense, “I was chosen. My only wish is that I went with them,” he turned his gaze to the camera and smiled, “But for all I know I could be immortal!” Hidan laughed, grabbed the red pen from behind the reporter’s ear and stabbed himself in the neck. Blood dripped down his shirt and before he passed out he felt a bit spray onto his lips. It tasted… divine. 

The pounding of the judge's gavel jolted him from his daze and he saw the jury come back to sit in their places. A man from the group stood up, "The jury has reached a decision."

The entire room dropped into silence.

"We find the defendant… not guilty by ruling of insanity.

"What?" Hidan said loudly and stood from his seat, "You people think I'm fucking crazy? I'm not crazy you stupid fucks!"

The chatter and chaos in the room erupted and two police officers jumped up to restrain Hidan.

"Get away from me!" He said, "Konan, I said I wanted to die! Konan! Listen to me!" The woman in question ignored the pleading and started to make a path through the room of rushing people. Hidan broke free from the cop's hold and leaped over the small divider, which only intensified the pandemonium in the room.

He grabbed Konan by the arm and spun her around, "I said I wanted to die! What the fuck is going to happen to me?"

"Hidan I'm sorry. I did what I thought was right. I'm sorry Hidan I-"

"You think I'm a fucking lunatic? Is that what you think? Fuck you! Fuck all of you!" Hidan screamed as the cops dragged him into the back room. The officers chained him to a metal table and slammed the door shut. Hidan continued to curse and scream until exhaustion took over, as it always did when he got into one of his freinzies, and he collapsed onto the floor. Slowly he gave up his fuming and slept.

* * *

"Hidan. Hidan. It's me, Deidara, wake up hmm? " The blonde nudged Hidan on the shoulder. Over the past year Deidara traveled as an assistant to the infamous doctor and psychologist, Sasori Akasuna, studying Hidan's mental health and psychoanalyzing him. Hidan, although he found no interest in Sasori, actually bonded with Deidara and the two became rather close acquaintances.

"What's going on?" Hidan slurred. He could feel he was in a vehicle and strapped to a board of some kind, but when he tried to stretch his arms he found his wrists restrained. "What the fuck is going on!"

"Hidan! Look at me!" Deidara said.

“The fuck are you doing here? The fuck are we going?"

"Hidan! Think about what happened! You know what's going on. You need to calm down, man. Take some deep breaths. Don't start freaking out again. I already had to sedate you once. Not that I mind stabbing you with a needle. You should be going to get euthanized like a dog after killing all those people hmm."

"That's right, the verdict…" Hidan said, "I wanted to die but those bastards think I'm fucking mental!"

"No shit, Hidan. If it were up to me I would've just strapped a bomb to your face and blew you to pieces, but that's not the case is it hmm?"

"God, you're annoying. Undo these stupid straps would you? I gotta take a piss."

"Hidan… listen to me. Dr. Akasuna and I have worked with Konan for the past year to get you off death row, because… because she knew you before all the cult shit and before your life got fuck up."

"Ha! I fucking knew it, you piece of shit! I knew it was you and Doc-tor Aka-su-na," Hidan mocked, "and I thought the two of you were on a first name basis after you sucked his cock and all!

"Hidan you don't fucking listen!"

"Tell me where we're going, Deidara!"

"Where the hell do you think, dumbfuck! You were deemed legally insane! You're being institutionalized!"

"What? Like a looney bin! What are they gonna do? Drug me up and put me in the corner to drool and piss on myself? God, I gotta get the hell outta here. Deidara you gotta help me."

"I'm trying but you keep talking. Look," Deidara held up a syringe, "Inject yourself with this, and you'll be dead in two minutes flat, and you can stop bothering my life."

Hidan looked at the yellow fluid filled medical instrument, "Deidara I can't kill myself. Suicide is a sin, and not just any sin but a big sin. You have to do it for me."

"Fine."

"Oh no you will not, Deidara," A stern voice sounded from the front of the vehicle and a red head appeared behind the caged partition.

"Oh god, you're here too. Fantastic," Hidan said at the sight of Sasori.

"Hidan we're bringing you to the Amakagure Institute. When we get there they will give you clothes, a room, medicine, and anything else you could need. You will also be seeing a new psychiatrist and doctor.

"Suck a dick, Sasori," Hidan said.

"We will be there soon, and Deidara if he's dead by the time this truck stops at the institute I'll leave you in his place," Sasori slammed the partition closed again.

"So I guess head really doesn’t get you on a first name basis?" Hidan said.

"I hope you rot in the institute," Deidara replied.

The two waited in silence until the truck came to a stop. Two nurses dressed in white opened the back doors and undid the restraints on Hidan. Hidan held out his hands to be cuffed, although he hated being restrained it had been protocol for more than two years, and they led him into the grey double doors of the Amekagure Institute with Sasori and Deidara following not far behind.

Hidan looked at the white walls of the institution as he was led through the large hallways. 'I'm going to end up back in prison if I have to stay in this place for more than a month.' Hidan thought.

Their first stop was behind a glass door where a large man entered alongside another nurse and told him to strip naked. They lifted his arms up and the man patted him down.

"Turn around and squat," the man said. Hidan did as he was told. Scowling the entire time and while maintaining as much eye contact with the guard as possible.

"Change into these," the man said holding out a pocketless gray smock, matching pants, and socks.

"What about shoes?" Hidan said.

"Residents are only allowed shoes when outside."

"Well that's stupid…" Hidan muttered.

After he was changed the woman took the group for a short tour. They stopped in a medium sized room with a beat up blue couch and matching loveseat. The room also had a small television, book shelves filled with tattered old books, a coffee table with magazines on it, and two windows. Of course Hidan noticed the windows were barred and the room was the same sickening white as the rest of the halls.

"This is the common room," the nurse said, "You can come here to play board games, watch movies, chat with other residents, and just have a grand good time!"

"I'd rather die," Hidan deadpanned.

They walked a bit more to a large cafeteria filled with patients.

"And this is our Mess Hall! All of your meals will be eaten in here unless otherwise notified."

"It smells like shit in here," Hidan said. He watched as a patient sat down at the table in front of him and shove mashed potatoes down their pants. Hidan turned with a murderous look aimed at Sasori who starred with the same intensity right back.

"Fuck you, Sasori," Hidan said.

The room started to erupt with manic chatter, "Yeah fuck you! Ha! Fuck!" The noise started to get louder with cries, screams of profanities, and laughing. The nurse quickly ushered the group out and offered a half-apology.

"They are just so riled up and excited to have a new resident that's all! Let me show you to your room, and you can have a nice and well deserved rest."

As the group walked away a patient ran out of the cafeteria half naked and jumped on Hidan, "Murderer! Murderer! Mommy's got a Murderer!"

"Get off of me, you crazy bitch!" Hidan yelled as he tried to throw her off his back.

A guard sprinted out of the cafeteria, grabbed the woman, dragged her enraged form into the nearest room, and slammed the door shut.

"Oh, that's just Karin. She gets so excited for new residents," the nurse said.

"She tried to bite my fucking ear off!"

As they walked further down the halls Hidan wondered how he would survive in this asylum. This place was a maze. He'd never remember how to get around. They finally arrived at a yellow colored hallway, which somehow bothered Hidan more than the white ones, lined with simple wood doors. The nurse grabbed a key off the wall and walked to a room marked "21B." She jiggled the key around, opened the door, and motioned the party of three inside.

"And this is your new room," The nurse said, "Doors must remain unlocked during daytime hours, and locked during nighttime hours." The vomit colored room was nothing more than a small bed with a pillow and sheets, a metal bedpan, and a small barred window that brought in the fading daylight.

"What the fuck," Hidan said, "Fuck this shit. I'm not staying here."

"You will learn to love it I'm sure!" The nurse said.

Hidan turned to the nurse and moved close until their faces were almost touching, "I hate this place, I hate the people who forced me here, and I fucking hate the color yellow. But you know what I hate most of all? Hmm? What I hate the most are people who smile all the time and pretend everything is so exciting and great," he said mockingly, "even when they would rather choke on their own shit."

The nurse stuttered a quick, "A guard will come by to unlock your handcuffs," and left the three to say their goodbyes.

"We will no longer be seeing you as a patient, Hidan," Sasori said.

"Fuck you."

"I'm leaving you in the hands of one of my colleges, Dr. Kakuzu Taki. He is an esteemed psychologist and his medical expertise is astounding. Enjoy your new life at the institute. I don't think you'll ever come out, but, it's better than a life sentence in prison, and, although you think differently, it's better than death," and with that said Sasori saw himself out.

"I'll come visit you, hmm?" Deidara said.

"I hate you."

The blonde shrugged apologetically and followed Sasori down the hall.

Hidan sat on the bed and stared at his still cuffed hands. "There has to be someone in this shithole who would just slit my throat for me without thinking," he thought. Hidan laid down on the hard mattress. Although he'd apparently been restrained to a board all day, he was still exhausted. A guard came in to uncuff him, and when the man left Hidan heard him lock the door behind him. He stared at the vomit colored wall until he could no longer keep his eyes open, and fell asleep.

* * *

Hidan woke up to a loud banging on his door and a click that signaled the door unlocking.

"Report to the Mess Hall for daytime medicine and breakfast."

"Fantastic," Hidan threw the pillow over his face, "up at the crack of fucking dawn." Hidan saw only a faded gray light through his window and guessed it was a rainy morning. He stretched in his bed and felt his bones crack. He looked at the bedpan with disgust but took a piss in it anyway noting that the smell permeating the surrounding hall was indeed piss and shit from the "residents." He peeked suspiciously out from his door. The hallway was starting to fill with passing patients. There was a melancholy man with long black hair tied neatly into a low ponytail and crease lines under his eyes that made him look tired, a purple haired woman with a snake tattooed on the side of her face, and the crazy redhead girl from yesterday.

"I made it through two years in prison so I can make it through this," Hidan thought.

He stepped out into the hallway and tried to keep his head down while following the others to the mess hall. He wasn't here to make friends nor did he want to. He's supposed to be dead, or at least be in line for it.

"Hey there. You're new here. Ain't cha?" The voice was annoying and loud, and when Hidan didn't answer he received a little poke in the shoulder.

Hidan grabbed the man by the collar of his smock, "You better leave me the fuck alone."

"Oh ho ho! You really are the Jashinist cult killer!" The man looked like he'd been run over by a bus on one side of his face. "They call me Tobi around here, and I know who you are… Hidan. How about we sit together at breakfast?"

"How about I bash your face against the wall so you never talk again?"

"And then you'll get put away in solitary! If you like the room you're staying in I'm sure you'll love where they'll stick you if you make a mess on your first day."

"Fuck you. Don't talk to me. Ever." Hidan dropped Tobi's shirt and continued on.

When Hidan got to the mess hall he was practically dragged inside by a guard in a white uniform and forced to swallow a small cup of pills. He was pulled into the breakfast line by the same guard and given a tray with a bowl and spoon. As he moved, or was rather pushed, along the line by the other patients, a scoop of what he thought looked like oatmeal was slopped in his bowl. ‘This was it? This was his breakfast?’ he thought. Even prison had better food. He pushed violently back into the line.

"Hey! What the hell? Do I get a fucking drink or something?"

The lady behind the counter had sharp eyes with large bags underneath. Her hair was thinning and it almost looked like her lower lip could fall off at any moment. She ignored him, but Hidan persisted.

"Hey lady. I'm fucking thirsty. You want me to die of thirst?"

The woman grabbed a cup, spit in it, and handed it to him.

That was it. Hidan was ready to storm the kitchen and beat this old bitch to a pulp when he felt an equally as annoying poke on his shoulder.

"You have to ask nicely, Hidan," the way Tobi said his name was drawn out and his voice lingered on the vowels.

"Didn't I tell you never to speak to me again?"

"Hey, Tia can I have a cup of water for my friend here, pretty please. He's new. Super crazy. Killed a whole gaggle of goose in one night. Said it was God's work." The lady behind the counter handed Tobi a full glass of water. "Thank you, beautiful. See not so hard is it, Hidan?"

Hidan grabbed the glass and sat in a wobbly chair at the most deserted table he could find. It was hard to isolate yourself because all of the tables were circular with the chairs crammed together in order to fit many people. Tobi plopped down beside him.

"I'll teach you all the ins and outs of this place! See that guard over there?" Tobi pointed to a tall and muscular blue haired man in white giving out medicine to patients, "That's Kisame. He's a sweetheart. Nicest guy you'll ever meet. I once saw him knock out three residents having a fist fight. Also over there," Tobi pointed to the raven haired man Hidan saw in the hallway before, "That's Itachi Uchiha. He's here for the same reason you are; he killed a buncha' people. His whole family actually. I should know I was there watching. And over there-"

"I'm done. What do we do when we're done," Hidan said.

"Done with what? Oh, done with breakfast, doi! You have to wait until we’re dismissed. Then we can go back to our rooms, or maybe watch some T.V., or-"

"Thanks for the water. Don't follow me." Hidan got up from his seat, and while another patient was having a distracting hissy fit about not being about to sit on the floor, snuck out the mess hall doors. Hidan wandered around for awhile until he found the common room, which was empty of course because everyone was still hoarded into the disgusting cafeteria. He skimmed through the magazines on the table. They were all outdated from years ago. He decided to try the books. Hidan hadn't read a book in years, not counting scriptures or verses from the Jashinist bible, and he brushed his hand against the spines. To think people thought it was a cult! Ha! Jashin never asked for anything like a cult did! Jashin gave! He gave understanding of others through pain, and salvation through death! Hidan picked a book and looked at the cover, "In Cold Blood." 

“What the hell?” Hidan said, and sat down with the book. The sun moved acrossed the room as time passed and still no one came into the old dusty room. He decided he'd take the book back to his room to read. It was good enough to pass the time until he figured out a plan to get one of the crazies to shoot him in the head. ‘Tobi would be easy enough to coerce,’ he thought, ‘or maybe, what was his name, the guy who killed his family…

"Don't take my books out of the common room."

"Excuse me?" Hidan turned to see a dark skinned man with long brown hair pulled together in a knot, but what struck him the most was the guy's face. It was scared into a glasgow smile and his green eyes looked completely bloodshot.

"What the hell happened to you?" Hidan laughed, "You look like you just crawled out of mother fucking Halloween town. You know they have surgery to fix all of…" Hidan motioned around the other man's face with his hands, "this."

"You talk a lot. Do you know that?"

"And you're ugly. Do you know that? You could scare kids with that face."

"Why don't we have a chat, Hidan? You're not supposed to be out and about right now, but let's just blame it on the fact that you're new here and don't know how things work."

Hidan wasn't surprised the dude knew his name. It’d been in every piece of media for the last three years. The scarred man sat on the larger of the two couches and motioned for Hidan to sit on the smaller one.

"Sorry. I don't want to chat."

"I insist." There was a pause in the encounter. The demeanor of this man was calm, but not peaceful and happy, it was like the calm before a storm.

"You're not a crazy person are you? You don't look like one of them." Hidan could see the man wore a long sleeve fitted shirt and wool cardigan with comfortable looking slacks. He also wore shoes if the rest wasn't a huge give away that he wasn't a patient. His outfit was well put together and Hidan could see the hint of a muscular build underneath the layers. Hidan himself didn't skip out on workouts. He liked his body and was somewhat vain about his looks. 

"You’re right. Have a seat."

Hidan cautiously sat down, “Who the fuck are you anyway?"

"I'm Dr. Kakuzu Taki. I'm one of the psychologists in this institution."

"Oi! So you're the new doc. Great," Hidan said sarcastically, "Sasori told me all about you. You're his esteemed colleague. God he spoke about you like you two fucked or something."

"Hidan can I ask you a question?"

"Ask away, Doc," Hidan smirked.

"Do you like it here? I know it's your first day, but what was your first impression?"

"Honestly the place is a complete shithole. Worse than prison. The food tastes like mashed up maggots and the rooms smell like piss and shit. Not to mention the batshit crazies that just walk around the place. I hate it. Can't wait to leave."

"Hidan you're not leaving. You know that right? Do you understand that this is your home now?"

"My lawyer and that stupid doctor Sasori fucked me over. I wanted to die."

"Then why don't you just kill yourself?"

"It's against my religion. Suicide is a horrible horrible sin. I'd put it at the top of the list of sins actually."

"What else is a sin in your religion, Hidan?"

"Ha. I can already tell you're better than Sasori. His questions are boring as hell. I could fall asleep standing up with him talking. Let's see… another horrible sin is to not kill."

"Not kill? So letting people live is a sin?"

"Yes. Jashinism teaches that anything other than complete destruction of another is a crime against God. Hmmm… so why don't I kill everyone in this damned place than? Well, I'll tell ya, because according to the scriptures I can't. Not like I did with the others. There are certain rituals that must be performed."

Kakuzu lifted his eyebrows.

"You know what I take it back! You're worse than that shit Sasori. You're a pretentious petty shit I can tell. You think I'm crazy too? Are you diagnosing me a psycho because I killed all those people. I loved all those people. They raised me. They helped me grow and understand things I would have never come to understand on my own. Jashin asked me to kill them and they welcomed me to do so. What do you think, Doctor Kakuzu? Do you think I'm fucking mental or that I deserve to die?"

"I think that you talk too much. Also your shirt is inside out. You could get in trouble for that. I'll see you when we have our first session two weeks. It’ll give you some time to get accoustumed to things," Kakuzu got up to leave, "And one more thing. Don't take my books from the common room or I'll kill you myself."

Hidan was stunned that this man seemed almost unfazed by the fact that he killed close to 80 people. Usually people seemed, at least, a bit nervous when they first met him. Pretentious bastard. Fuck him. Hidan stuffed the book down his pants to bring back to his room.

"I wish he would kill me," Hidan thought.


	2. Chapter 2

The days passed in slow motion for Hidan. His stolen book was thrown to the floor after losing interest more than a week ago, so he settled for watching the light filter and move across the sheets of his bed.

"I gotta get the fuck out of this place," Hidan let his head fall back against the wall, and the door creak open.

A large blueish skinned man with matching hair opened his door, "Hey kiddo time for lunch."

"Go fuck yourself. I'm not moving from this spot until I talk to my lawyer."

"How many times are we gonna do this, bud?"

"I’m not a fucking crazy person! I don’t belong here!"

"I thought you’d be over the newbie jitters by now," the blue man gave a smile and Hidan saw rows of sharpened teeth.

"Get away from me, freak."

"I'll give you three seconds to get up and start moving down to the mess hall. One… two... two and a half, last chance,” 

Hidan didn’t budge. 

“Three. Alright here we go."

Hidan shouted profanities as he was promptly draped over the larger man's shoulder. "You piece of shark-toothed shit!"

"Yeah yeah… stop squirming."

When the two arrived at the cafeteria Tobi all but sprinted over.

"Kisame! And… Hidan! Almost didn't see you," he said excitedly.

"Hi, Tobi. How are you?" Kisame said.

"I'm good. They have leftover potatoes from yesterday for lunch today so you could say I'm having "laktas" fun!"

Kisame shook his head, "That's good to hear. Go get some food," he let Hidan down, "Same goes for you."

"Don't ever touch me again or I'll kill you."

"Noted. Just don't make me come get you for dinner too. Okay, Hidan?"

Hidan fumed as Kisame walked out the white double doors, but he was hungry and hated to skip meals unless he was fasting for a religious cause. Hidan grabbed a food tray and pushed through to the front of the crowd. The entire line groaned in displeasure.

“Oh! Shut your goddamn mouths, ya heathens!”

After getting food he sat down at a mostly empty table. Tobi scooted beside him, but this time he wasn't alone.

"Hey there. Good to see ya. I want to introduce you to some people. This right here is Suigetsu, Hugo, and I think you already know Karin."

"Did you really kill all those people for no reason?" Suigetsu asked.

Hidan threw a look of disgust to the group and made to leave, but Tobi grabbed his arm.

"Oh come on! Stay with us please," he turned his attention forward, "Hey! Hey Itachi come sit with us! Over here!" The man with the low ponytail nodded towards the group and walked over.

"Hello. You must be Hidan," Itachi said as he sat down.

"Yeah. Everyone knows that. I'm not supposed to be here with you freaks. I'm supposed to be on death row."

"You know how long that takes? To be finally killed on death row? It could take years!" Karin said, "You have a better chance just pissing someone off and hoping they beat you to death."

"I would say the best one to get in a pissing match would be Itachi. He killed his whole family," Tobi said.

"It wasn't my fault…" Itachi said, "I needed to… they weren't going to let anyone live…"

"Let's change the subject," Hugo said.

"But I just love hearing this story, and remember it's not all bad. You're little brother is still alive," Tobi leaned onto his elbows.

"Dr. Senju said I'm making progress with my BPD." Hugo said.

"Hugo! Now that's really something! If that old bag Tsunade says it... it must be true!" Suigetsu said, giving his friend an encouraging slap on the back, "Tell us all about it."

"She said I could have another cat to take care of if I could go a whole month without any… problems. And as long as I promise it doesn't end up like the last one..."

"Awww… Hugo don't get hung up on yourself about it. The past is the past! Just move forward. Soon you'll get outta here and have all the little kitty cats you want!” Suigetsu said, "And if you accidentally bash one of their heads in no one will punish you for it!"

"What the heck is BPD?" Hidan asked.

"Borderline personality disorder. Suigetsu was diagnosed with it too," Hugo replied.

"So you two have a made up disorder, he's a murderer, and I can already tell Tobi is just a fucking retard no one wanted to take care of so they stuck him here, but what the fuck is wrong with her?"

"She's a nymphomaniac," Suigetsu said, "Hey Karin you want to say something?"

"No. I don't talk to murderers," she said.

"You fucking ran out of the mess hall and jumped on him last week. Were you trying to make your fuck buddies jealous or something?" He turned back to Hidan, "She fucked half the residents and the guards too."

"Shut the hell up, Suigetsu. Are you angry because I won't fuck you too?"

"We did fuck you dumb bitch! Last week! In the janitorial closet! It wasn't even good!"

"You're a liar!" Karin stood up and shouted. A guard turned her head and gave a warning glance.

"Liar," Karin hissed and left the table.

"She used to see Dr. Taki, but she tried to make a move on him so she was transferred to Dr. Haruno, but I think she made a move on her too so now they're trying to figure out what to do next."

"She used to see Dr. Taki? Yeah, they told me this morning not to be late for my session, but I don't plan on attending." Hidan said.

"Good luck getting out of that," Itachi said.

"Kakuzu is fucking insane. He'll find you and fucking drag you to his office if you skip sessions," Suigetsu said, "Better just to go."

"I figured he's got a stick up his ass."

"Hidan," Tobi leaned in close, "why don't you come with me tonight and we'll get out of this place?"

"Tobi what are you going on about?" Hugo asked, "Is it more about your "escape" plans. Last time you tried you were caught and put in iso for two weeks. When you came out you couldn't even speak."

"I almost made it, but someone ratted on me. Someone I shouldn't have trusted."

"Who?" Hidan asked.

"Over there. Do you see her? The girl with the long blond hair. Her name is Ino and she sucks up to the guards. Everyone says she's gonna be the one to get released from this place. If I didn't tell her I would have made it."

"Tell me," Hidan said, "how do you get out of this place without anyone noticing."

"There's a door in the kitchen that leads down into the basement. Once we get there we can take a tunnel that leads up to the ground level. Then we just jump the gate, head for the woods, and run."

'I'll be able to contact Konan,' Hidan thought. "I'm in," he said.

"Perfect because…" Tobi reached into his pants and gave a jingle, "I already have the keys."

"Dismissal! Lunch is over!" A guard announced.

"Dinner is at 18:30 so meet me in the hall and the end of the cafeteria at 18:00. The guards always let me in early, and the kitchen staff have a pre-shift meeting on Mondays for the weekly meal schedule."

"Hidan don't do this," Itachi said, "It's not worth it. Tobi doesn't know what he's doing."

"Well you're not going to rat us out are you?"

"No… I'm not," Itachi said.

"Then mind your own business," he turned to Tobi, "I'll see you at 18:00."

There was no clock anywhere near the resident's rooms so Hidan decided to wait in the common room. He wasn't that anxious about the plan. If Tobi got in the way he decided to just ditch him maybe use him as a scapegoat if he needed.

About an hour after lunch ended Karin had pulled him to the side of the hallway to tell him she didn't sleep with Suigetsu.

"Like I give a shit about who you fuck," he told her.

"I overheard you have Dr. Kakuzu Taki as your psychologist."

"If you don't have anything important to share you can leave me the fuck alone.."

She grabbed his arm violently, "I wanted to tell you that I think you and Dr. Taki are going to get along nicely because you're both pieces of shit."

"I'm not going to see him. Not tonight. Not ever. I'm getting out of here before I even have to meet with him."

Karin's demeanor changed instantly, "Why are you telling me this? Do you want me to come with you?" Her hand moved lower down Hidan’s shirt.

He grabbed her wrist and forced it away, "If you ever touch me again I'll break your hands."

"If you leave tonight I guarantee you'll get caught, and then the guards will really get to know you."

"Well if they catch me I'll know who blabbed about it and I'll find you and fuck you up so bad you won't be able to recognize yourself."

Karin looked up at the hand holding her wrist, "Why don't you just slam me over a table and fuck me up right now instead?"

He shoved her away, "You're fucking disgusting."

That was the end of the encounter after Karin tried to maul his eyes out before she was taken away by one of the guards. He didn't think she would tattle, and if she did he was candid in keeping his promise.

People came and went from the common room. They stopped to watch one of the 13 channels of television, talk to imaginary people in their heads, or to read an old book or magazine. Some even tried to engage him to which he violently snarled them away. By the time the small round clock between the two windows read 16:45 the traffic in the room started to diminish. Hidan found out by listening to other residents that every night at 17:00 there was an activity in the main hall. Tonight was apparently bingo. There were only two other people in the room with him now. A boy with a spiked up ponytail and small hoop earrings, and the blond girl Tobi blamed for his failed escape attempt. Hidan could tell the boy wasn't a resident because of his lack of uniform and the fact that he wore sneakers. The girl tapped him on the shoulder.

"Why don't you come with us to bingo?" she asked him.

"Why don't you fuck off?"

The boy stepped forward, "Don't speak to my friend like that. I told you not to engage him, Ino. He's a murderer after all. He's dangerous. He shouldn't even be here. He should've been shot in the head three years ago when the police raided that filthy shack in the woods."

"I just wanted to be nice," Ino said.

"Don't bother, you little rat. I heard you got Tobi in trouble or some shit for telling him that he planned to escape. What the hell is wrong with you? He was just trying to get out of this shit hole."

"Wha- What? I don’t know what you’re talking about."

"Ino let's get out of here. Your nurse told me they have some really cool prizes this week, and Choji said he was coming to visit you too."

Hidan watched the two walk out of the room. He took a steadying breath. Time to move. He made his way through the winding halls back to the cafeteria where, not soon after, Tobi arrived.

"Hidan there's a problem."

"Are you fucking kidding me? What is it?"

"There is one more person that needs to come with us. My friend Rin."

"Fine. As long as she doesn't slow me down. Where is she?"

"In her room. I'm going to go get her now. Here are the keys," Tobi dropped them into Hidan's hand, "Just leave the door open. Once you get to the basement the tunnel is behind the old barn door. I'll distract the guard for you. Kisame should be easy enough to get rid of for a bit. Just go now."

Hidan hid behind the hallway until Tobi made a fit, and Kisame moved into the opposite hallway. Quickly, he crept into the mess hall and, like Tobi said, no one was there. He jumped the barrier and made his way to the kitchen where he unlocked the door and scampered down the stairs. The basement was damp, void of almost all light, and smelled like dirt. Hidan felt the walls for something that could help until his finger was painfully splintered by a wood door. As quietly as he could he made his way through the dark tunnel until he saw a sliver of grey light on the ground. The doors to the grounds were rusted, but Hidan's muscular build was enough to force them open. The moon was the only light source on the grounds, and the cold winter air made him shiver. His feet were already wet from the rain, but it didn't stop him from running to the gate.

"There he is! He's climbing the gate!" A shout sounded from somewhere on the grounds. Hidan saw shadows running toward him and hurried up the gate.

Hidan ignored the sharp edges of the tall gate against his skin, and was about to jump over when he felt someone grab his ankle. The breath was knocked out of him as he was slammed to the ground.

He looked up at his assailant, "Fuck," was the only word he could get out through his hyperventilations.

Kakuzu looked down at him and screamed, "What the hell do you think you're doing?" The darker skinned man grabbed Hidan's arm and slammed him up against the stone wall, "Like I told you. You're not going anywhere. This is your home now."

The guards arrived out of breath with Kisame leading them in front, "You caught up to him fast," Kisame rested his hands on his knees and looked at Hidan, "Holy shit, kid. You must really do want to die if you're trying to get back out there," he straightened himself up, "If it wasn't for your friend we wouldn't have even known you were gone until dinner."

"That…redheaded...slut…Karin…I'm going to...kill her."

"She's not the one who told us," Kakuzu tightened his grip on Hidan's arms and moved closer until they were eye to eye, "it was the boy. Tobi. He sprinted into my office while I was with a patient and told us you stole the keys. We didn't believe him at first because the boy lies about everything. It wasn't until Kisame confirmed the basement door was unlocked that we came out on the grounds."

"Bas...tard…"

Kakuzu loosened his grip but his tone was still a low growl, "I'll give you a choice. You can go to take your medicine, then have Kisame take you to me and we can talk about everything that happened tonight, or we have a nice little cell in solitary confinement for you.

"Eat a dick," Hidan spat directly into Kakuzu's face and was slammed to the ground. Kakuzu kicked him in the gut hard which made Kisame wince. 

“Kakuzu… relax,” Kisame warned, “he’s just a kid.”

"Shut up, Kisame. I'll put him in iso myself. Give me your cuffs."

"Fuck… you…" Hidan muttered as Kakuzu roughly clicked the handcuffs on. Hidan went in and out of cousinsness as he was forcefully dragged arcoss the grounds and back into the asylum.

As the two men made their way to the other side of the institute Hidan saw how different the west wing was from the east. It was older, and the architecture definitely screamed insane asylum unlike the east wing which was modern and hospital-like. The west wing's floor rugged unlike the linoleum in his room, and the place smelled muggy. He could even hear a dripping noise echoing through the halls. 

"Walk on your own. I'm not carrying you down the stairs."

Hidan wrenched himself out of Kakuzu's grip. He'd been wanting to walk on his own but the bastard wouldn't detach the fingernails digging into his arm until now.

"You beat me to a pulp and expect me to walk down stairs?"

"I expect you to follow the rules. Now go."

Hidan started to limp forward, but stopped, "And what if I don't?"

"I'll push you."

"I dare you."

"Don't test me."

“Coward.”

"Shut up and move."

Hidan's snarl looked demonic in the flickering, yellow hallway light. If the bastard wanted to play games he could play too. "Are you this hospitable to everyone, or I am just special?

No answer.

"Are you going to say something or should I just assume you're not as smart as everyone thinks you are? Or maybe you're just scared that I'll murder you like I murdered all those people."

Kakuzu ignored him, and opened a heavy steel door with a small rectangular opening at the top, "Get in."

When the two were both inside the windowless room Kakuzu closed the door and crossed his arms.

"What the hell? I thought this was called isolation? You wanna have a fucking slumber party or something, scumbag?"

"We have a session tonight and, because of the circumstances, we'll have it right here."

“Honestly, I'd rather be alone," Hidan shot him a grin that said, ‘eat shit.’

"Oh don't worry. You will be after our session."

Hidan frowned in contempt.

“Hidan, I’m trying to help you.”

“Oh, shut up. You don’t give a shit about anyone in this joint. Besides I heard Karin tried to fuck you. You couldn't help her one bit, could you?"

Kakuzu’s lip twitched, "Why did you try to escape?"

"What do you mean why did I try to escape? Are you fucking kidding me!? This place is a total hellhole! Just look at where we are! There are fucking tallies scrapped into the wall! It smells like death and shit! The people here are murderers, rapists, and schizos! How can you not want to leave?"

"How did you get the keys?"

"The fucker who ratted me out gave me the keys. The whole thing was his idea. He should be in this room. Not me."

"Why didn't he go with you?"

"Because he obviously went to go tell you! I was set up!"

"So why didn't you stop him? Kisame said he saw you two in the hallway.”

"Listen. He told me he was going to go get his friend, Rin, and I believed him. Whoever that chick is she should be in trouble too. They probably conspired against me for shits and giggles or something. I just want to talk to my fucking lawyer."

"I'll arrange phone privileges if it makes you feel more content here."

"Oh, fuck you! Why are you even trying! You can't fucking help me! Unless you feel like killing me! But honestly though, as much as I want to die, I don't want a tight ass fuck like you to be the one to do it."

Kakuzu stood up and moved centimeters away from Hidan's face. His body shook with rage, and in the dim light the shadows on his face made his scars look like stitches, "You have no idea how badly I want to feel my hands around your throat." Hidan swore he felt the anger radiating from Kakuzu. He could practically smell the violence that steamed from the man, but also something else. Something felt wrong. 

"What the hell happened to you?" Hidan whispered.

Kakuzu turned away and reopened the door. When he closed it the lock mechanism echoed down the empty hallways, "And by the way. You're better off not listening to a word Tobi says. Rin died three years ago and he's never been the same." Kakuzu's footsteps faded and Hidan was finally alone.

Hidan banged and screamed on the metal door even after the doctor made his leave. Hidan hated how he got so close, which forced him to look into his eyes, and although his face was engulfed in anger, his eyes were sad. Hidan moved to the corner of the room. There was no telling how long he would be sitting there, and he hated himself for admitting it, but he was scared. The only thing that could comfort him now were his prayers.


	3. Chapter 3

Hidan's prayers were soft and methodic at first, but as the days passed in isolation they became incoherent. There was no way to tell if it was morning or night anymore, or how long he sat trapped in the small room. The only contact he received was a tray of food placed in his room twice a day. 

Hidan promised himself he would murder Kakuzu and if he ever got out of this cell. He planned the entire slaughter out in his mind. Hidan would corner the man and break his legs so he couldn't escape, then he would make him beg for his life, and finally strangle him to death the same way Kakuzu threatened him during their last encounter. Except, when he got to the end of his bloody fantasy, he saw the same tragic look in Kakuzu's eyes.

“Fucking shit!” Hidan banged the back of his head against the wall. He couldn’t get that look out of his head. 

“Best not to think.” Hidan said, and fell into a restless sleep until a guard yelled at him to “wake up and get up.”

"He smells worse than shit. Let's hose him off before we bring him back up." Two guards picked him up by his arms and pulled him to his feet. The man and woman dragged him in front of a damp wall, and he heard the twist of a rusted spigot. He tried to cover himself from the water, but his energy was deleted so he huddled his limbs together and prayed for it to be over. Once the water stopped he shivered against the cold air as the guards tried to towel him off.

"Here are some new clothes. Put them on."

Hidan tried not to shake so much while he put the shapeless grey smock and pants on. The guards went to grab him again but he snapped at them.

"I can walk for myself." Hidan tried to walk up the stairs but he got light headed and felt sick, so the guards had no choice but to help him up the stairs. Even the soft lights of the west wing were too much for his eyes. The east wing was even worse. He was blinded by the white walls and bright lights until finally he was brought into an office. The woman who sat in front of him gasped at his appearance, and, honestly, Hidan was a little put off by her's as well. She had the biggest breasts he'd even seen. Her blond hair was pulled into two loose pigtails, and the plaque in front of her said Dr. Tsunade Senju.

“Well,” She said, motioning Hidan towards a seat with velvet upholstery, “Sit down!” 

Hidan's usually slicked back hair hung, still damp, above the dark circles of his eyes and, because he lost a bit of weight, his cheekbones were more apparent. 

"Just how long was he down there for?" She asked one of the guards.

"About a month."

Hidan started to laugh, "Really? Only a month? Felt like a year."

"We need to get him back on meds STAT," Tsunade put a hand to Hidan's forehead, "and also fluids. He's burning. Hidan. Look at me. You have to tell us who put you down there.” 

"Kakuzu," Hidan growled.

Tsunade bit her lip and grabbed the phone on her desk, "Hello? Yes. Hi, Shizune. It's me. Everything is fine just put me on to 14 west. I have to speak with Dr. Taki."

That was all Hidan needed; a number and a direction. He shot up from the chair and ran out of the office. He knew where the west wing offices were because he was dragged passed them. Newfound adrenaline pulsed through him and he sprinted through the hallways until he found number 14. 

"Where the fuck are you, scumbag! Where are you, Kakuzu! You piece of shit!"

Kakuzu sat at his desk with a young girl. The two were in the middle of eating lunch when Hidan bursted in.

"Fu get behind me now."

"Uncle Kuzu what's going on?" Fu asked nervously.

"What's going on is that I'm going to rip "Uncle Kuzu's" fucking face off for making me live in my own piss and shit for a month!" Hidan lunged at Kakuzu and struck him in the nose with a satisfying crack. Hidan lurched at Kakuzu for another punch, but he caught his wrist before the silver haired man could land it.

"What was leaving me to die in a hole going to do for me, huh? You bastards think you can help people, but you just make them worse. And it doesn't even fucking matter to you. I bet you wanted me to rot down there from the beginning. Didn't you?"

Tsunade stormed into the office and jabbed a syringe into Hidan's side. He screamed in aggravation.

"Haven't I gone through enough already! This isn't fucking right! He fucking left me… left me… he left me to die…" Hidan collapsed onto the floor with a thud.

"Kakuzu what is going on! You better have a good goddamn reason why you went over my head like this or you can leave right now." Kakuzu turned to the little girl. 

"Fu, go to the green house and I'll meet you there."

"I don't want to go there without you!"

"Fu go now," Kakuzu said, and the young girl ran out of his office, "Tsunade, he needed to be broken down. There was no way I was going to make any progress with him if-"

"Are you insane! Patients deteriorate in solitary confinement after one day! He was there for a month, you idiot!” 

"Hidan is different. I admit that I made a mistake in not telling you, but you're underestimating how dangerous he is-”

Tsunade cut him off, “No! You’re underestimating how big of a mistake this is, and now you’re going to face the consequences, Kakuzu. You can’t keep doing things like this. We have protocol for a reason! What were you thinking?”

“He needed something to drain him and make him more pliant. If someone didn’t do anything he would have kept breaking rules. Maybe even kill someone."

“Kakuzu, _ you _ almost killed him! I don’t care what the media is saying about this kid! Your priority is his well-being, and right now he’s running through the halls trying to kill you with a 38º fever!” 

Kakuzu sat down in his chair and pinched the bridge of his nose. Tsunade sighed. 

“All of his medical expenses are coming out of your pay, Hidan is your top priority now, and you can personally deal with the press about him. Don’t ever go over my head again. Do you understand, Kakuzu?” 

“Fine.”

* * *

Hidan woke up in the medical wing with an I.V stuck in his arm. He was finally feeling how sick he was. 

‘This is worse than prison,’ Hidan thought. If you fought in prison they gave you a slap on the wrist, and if you tried to escape they just took away your outside privileges. The curtain around his bed was drawn open and Kisame stood with a cell phone in hand.

"Hidan, here’s a phone to call that lawyer of yours. Are you able to speak?"

"Fuck you."

"Good. You got fifteen minutes." He handed the phone to Hidan and closed the curtain. 

Konan...The two spent their childhood together as best friends, but grew apart when she started dating Pein when she was 16. Even after she volunteered to be his lawyer they could barely make eye contact with each other. He dialed the numbers anyway. 

"Hello?"

"It's me."

"Hidan! Oh my god! Where are you? I came to the institute to see you! I was there everyday for a week and called but they wouldn't let me talk to you!"

"That's because they locked my ass up in isolation for a month. I'm a fucking wreck. You have to get me out of this shithole."

"Why would they do something like that? "

"I… I tried to escape."

"You what! Hidan why?"

"Because you're a bitch for letting this happen to me! Because I can't trust anyone! Because I would rather be shot in the head than have to stay another minute in this place!"

"Hidan. I'm sorry," Konan started to cry, "It- it wasn't my decision. The jury saw your medical records and reports from Dr.Akasuna."

"What? Are you telling me this is his fault?"

"No, Hidan! It's no one's fault! You're sick! Hidan there is something seriously wrong with you!" The words echoed in Hidan's head. That was it. This wasn't a secret last resort plan to get him off death row. He was here because he belonged here.

"Hidan? Are you still there?"

"Yeah."

"I'm so sorry."

"So it's… it’s my fault that I'm here."

"No! It's not your fault-"

"If I'm sick that means there's something wrong with me. Not the rest of the world."

"Hidan… I’m sorry."

There was a long silence on the line. 

"Konan?"

"What is it?"

"Did you know?"

"Did I know what?"

"That I’m fucked up."

“Hidan..."

"Was I like this when we were kids? Why didn’t someone- no one ever told me anything-,” Hidan felt his head ache in frustration. 

"Hidan please… I- I don't- please, Hidan. We'll think of something. Okay?"

Hidan dropped the phone off the side of the bed. God he was so weak. Every part of his body hurt. He just wanted to go back home. Back to the Jashinists. Back to the people that cared for him, but… they were dead. His breath hitched and he quickly tried to hide the tears welling up in his eyes.

* * *

Hidan was in the hospital wing for a week before they let him go back to his room. The head doctor, Sakura Haruno, oversaw that Hidan made a speedy recovery. He also had one visitor, Itachi Uchiha, who came on a rainy afternoon.

"Hey. Jugo made cupcakes, and I brought you one."

"Get out."

"I'll leave it right here. How are you feeling?"

"You really don’t have anything better to do than bother me?" Hidan said.

"Look. I wouldn't have come here unless it was important," his voice turned to a whisper, "I heard Dr. Taki transferred all of his patients to other psychologists. You're his only patient now. What the hell happened between you two?"

"How the hell should I know?"

"They say he’s going to be watching you closely for now on."

Hidan took a bite out of the cupcake. "Whoop-de-fucking-doo."

"I thought you'd take this more seriously."

"That ditshit you call a doctor; I couldn’t care less about him."

"Hidan I didn’t come here to-"

"Than tell me why the fuck you’re here, Itachi.”

"Hidan. I was one of Dr. Taki's patients and at my last session he wasn't himself. He couldn't focus.” 

“And what of it?”

Itachi sighed, defeated, “I don’t know. I thought maybe you’d know something, but you don’t.” 

Hidan scoffed. “Thanks for the cake."

* * *

When Hidan got back to his room the next day he slept for hours. It was late afternoon when he was woken up by a loud knock on the door.

"Oi! What now?"

It was Kisame. "Hidan, you need to get up. You have a meeting with Dr. Taki."

"Do I get to eat first?"

"You'll be eating in his office."

"Fine. Can I use a real fucking bathroom for once?"

Before Kisame took him to the showers he gave Hidan a bath kit. Although the water was freezing, and the pressure was low, he reveled in the ability to use shampoo again. His facial hair had grown in and he was amazed the bath kit actually contained a crappy razor to shave with. When he was done Kisame brought him to the west wing.

"Dr. Taki, Hidan’s here."

"Send him in," Kakuzu's office was warm and spacious. Books lined the shelves on the walls and a large window overlooked the woods. On the opposite side there were two brown couches sitting on a dark-red rug.

"Hidan why don't you make yourself comfortable?" Kakuzu said. There was a plate of food on the desk where Kakuzu was sitting. Hidan grabbed it and went to the couch. The two sat in silence; Hidan ate and stared out the window while Kakuzu watched him.

"Are you just gonna watch me eat? Or does something get accomplished in this room?"

"What would you like to get accomplished?"

"Oh cut the crap. You left me to die. Don't act like you care."

"I wasn't going to leave you, Hidan."

"Oh yeah? How much longer did you plan on letting me marinate in my own shit than?"

"Listen, you’re-" 

Hidan stood up, “What? You’re going to tell me I’m fucked up? That I deserved it? Say it than!” 

Kakuzu took a deep breath and regained his composure, “I’m sorry.”

"Go to Hell." Hidan sat down. He didn’t have the energy to fight back anymore. Kakuzu was right; being locked up for so long broke him. Time passed in silence and Hidan watched the sun go down behind the mountains.

* * *

Weeks passed uneventfully. Hidan did as he was told, and kept to himself. His weekly sessions with Kakuzu became bi-weekly, and soon he was going to sessions four to five times a week. Hidan didn’t particularly look forward to therapy, but it wasn’t as boring as the rest of his day, so he went without protest. Kakuzu, on the other hand, didn’t feel especially confident about Hidan’s “progress,” if one could even call it that.

Hidan spoke about everything and nothing. He didn’t remember enough of his past to talk about the night he was taken from the church of Jashin, and he didn’t care enough to try to. And something else; he seemed… depressed. Kakuzu decided to try a different approach. 

"Why don't we play a sort of game, Hidan?"

"Ha. You're a funny guy, you know that, Kakuzu?" Hidan wouldn't give him the satisfaction of being called doctor.

"I'm serious. I'll ask you a question, and if you answer it you can ask me a question."

"And you have to answer it? You can't say no?"

"That's how it works."

"Fine. Ask me a question."

"Why do you think you're here at the institute and not somewhere else?"

"Where the hell do I start? I murdered a bunch of people, but apparently not enough to be killed myself. Sasori is an idiot who couldn’t do his job right, and my lawyer thought she knew what was best for me too, so now I’m here.” 

Kakuzu nodded in response. "Your turn."

"What the fuck happened to your face."

"When I was younger I was given an important job and failed. This was my punishment."

"Well what was the job?"

"Hidan it's my turn."

Hidan groaned, "Fine. Hit me."

"Do you think you should be here?"

"No! Well I mean- no. I don't know. Maybe? Fucking Christ. I don't want to be here, but they told me I was fucked up and maybe I am and everybody I trusted turned on me so…" Hidan turned his attention back to the window. He couldn't stand to look at Kakuzu anymore. That tragic look stressed him out. "There is something wrong with me that everyone can see except me," he turned towards Kakuzu. "Now tell me. What was the job?"

"I needed to kill someone, but I couldn't do it."

"Chickened out did you?"

"No. I was young and didn't know what I was in for. Much like you." Kakuzu focused back on the folders which littered his desk, "Hidan we're done for today. You may leave."

"Wait. I have one more question. Who is that girl always with you? She called you her uncle, but she was wearing a resident's uniform."

Kakuzu sighed as if this was common knowledge. "Yes, my niece is a resident here. I'm not allowed to treat her, but I try to spend as much time with her as possible."

"What's wrong with her?"

"That's confidential information, Hidan. You can leave now. I assume you won't wander the halls, or should I call Kisame?"

Hidan walked over to Kakuzu's desk and leaned in. "You seem to have a lot of time to yourself now that I’m your only patient. Why did then make you do that anyway? I don’t think you did it to yourself.

"I don't expect you to understand."

"Try me." The air between the two men intensified. 

"Don’t waste my time. I have reports to write up. Our next session is tomorrow afternoon."

Hidan slammed the office door closed before he left. When he got back to his room Kisame was waiting to lock his door shut. "Kakuzu told me you would be late."

"Sorry to be a fucking bother." Hidan closed the door to his room and splayed onto his small bed. His thoughts were scattered except for the fact that they all connected back to one man, Kakuzu.

'So he tried to kill someone…’ Hidan thought, 'and couldn't do it so they took his face.' Hidan admitted that kind of sucked, and Kakuzu also had to deal with his niece being stuck in a place like this. No wonder he's such an uptight asshole. If Konan was put in here Hidan would be doing whatever it took to get her out. Contrary to how he acted, Hidan cared for Konan. His memories of their childhood together meant something to him. 

That night Hidan dreamed he was a child. He looked up and saw young Konan sitting on a branch in a tall tree. 

“Hidan, don’t be a dope! Climb up!” Konan said. Hidan was tired but he climbed. The tree became difficult to climb, and when he was about to reach for Konan’s hand he was yanked down by his ankle into the mud. 

“Get up!” He turned to see Kakuzu with an extended hand, and catching his reflection in a puddle, realized he was older again. He reached up for Kakuzu’s hand and the older man shoved him against the stone wall. Except instead of hitting him, Kakuzu kissed him fiercely. Hidan woke up in a cold sweat, and with a tent in his pants.

"Ah, fuck me!” Hidan grumbled into the pillow. 

* * *

Springtime arrived, and the residents were finally given more time outside. The other residents stayed away from Hidan and Tobi was nowhere to be seen. Hidan planned to beat the bastard or at least scare him so bad he pissed his bed for a week if he ever saw him again. His days went like this: Wake up, eat, workout, eat, sleep, and go to therapy. There were no more calls from Konan since he was in the hospital, and no one came to visit him either. 

During an afternoon session Hidan absentmindedly asked Kakuzu, "Do you have a wife or something?"

"No, but I was engaged once."

Kakuzu understood that if he wanted to get Hidan to open up sometimes he would have to as well. He chalked it up to Hidan’s personality. 

"What did you knock her up?"

Kakuzu hesitated which made Hidan laugh ferociously. "You did! Kakuzu, you dog you! Do you have a kid?"

"Hidan talking about my personal life is not going to help you with your situation."

"Come on! Let me be the doctor this time." Hidan grabbed Kakuzu's reading glasses and a spare clipboard from the coffee table."

"Hidan stop it."

"Just tell me! Tell me if you have a kid and I'll shut up! Just tell me!" Hidan begged. “What the hell does it matter!”

"Yes. A daughter. Now stop."

Hidan went on, "Is the gremlin as pretty as you or as ugly as its mother?"

Kakuzu grabbed the clipboard and wacked Hidan across the face. The glasses broke off and cut Hidan right below his eye.

"Ow! What the fuck, Kakuzu! I thought we were over this crap!"

"She's dead."

It all fit together. That was why Kakuzu was the way he was. Hidan sat down, suddenly interested. 

“I didn't know.”

"She died when she was five years old." Kakuzu was breathing heavily, but as full as rage as the man seemed to be, Hidan saw something else as well.

Hidan stared, sickly entranced by the way Kakuzu's eyes betrayed his anger. Kakuzu looked so furious yet so vulnerable, and Hidan wondered if it was just his disfigured mind mixing things up again. Comforting people was always something Hidan failed at, but he couldn't stop himself from taking Kakuzu's face in his hands and bringing their lips together.


	4. Chapter 4

Kakuzu immediately shoved Hidan away. He understood Hidan was difficult to read, but this was unpredictable. 

"Shit… what the hell happened, Kakuzu?" Hidan wiped spit away from his mouth with his wrist.

Violet eyes looked deeply into dark green ones and for a moment the men were motionless. Suddenly, Kakuzu pulled him back and kissed him. Hidan leaned into it. It was warm and he could smell the older man's masculine scent. Hidan’s hand slipped beneath Kakuzu's shirt and he yelped when the older man pushed him onto the couch. 

“Leave right now,” Kakuzu said. 

"What are you scared of me now?" Hidan mocked. 

"You can't tell anyone about this.”

“Oh, and what if I do, Kakuzu?” 

"Hidan, I'm serious. I could lose my job."

“What's so great about this job? I'm your only patient anyway! You could get a job anywhere! You're a fucking genius doctor for god's sake. What the fuck are you so afraid of?"

"Hidan I need this job. I need the money. I have-"

"Fuck off! You're safe, asshole! I'm not going to tell a single soul. The thought never even passed my mind. Why the hell would I tell anyone anyway? So they can take you away from me and then I'll be-" Hidan cut himself off.

"You'll be what, Hidan?"

"I'll be fucking alone! Okay? Do you know how fucking depressing it is to be sure I'm going to die alone in this shithole? How am I supposed to be happy if all I get from life is fucking mistakes, lies, and now being locked up when I don't even understand what's wrong with me? You're the only one I talk to in this place! No one else will even give me the time of day because they think I'm fucking mental! At least you don't sugar coat everything! But at the same time I can't stand your self-righteous ass! You come along, beat the shit out of me, and I’m just supposed to forgive you? I don’t even trust you, but you’re all I fucking have! My dreams are all fucked up so I don't sleep at night, Konan hasn't even tried to call me, and I want to go home, but everyone is dead because- because-" Hidan started hyperventilating.

"Hidan, calm down. It’s okay."

"No it's not okay! Everybody is fucking dead!"

Kakuzu cautiously stepped forward. "Hidan..." Hidan could feel the headache coming on and memories flooding in. 

"They told me to kill them! They wanted me to! I didn't want to at first, but they told me to and I did. I loved them... they told me we were all gonna be in paradise together, but- I didn’t feel safe there... with them.”

“Hidan, you're safe."

"No I'm not." 

"Yes you are."

Hidan gave up. There was no sense in fighting it anymore. He latched himself onto Kakuzu and cried. He cried loud ugly sobs. His nose ran and his eyes burned, but the misery that built up inside him over the past three in a half years was too much to contain any longer. 

Kakuzu hesitantly wrapped his arms around Hidan. The younger man was just about the same height as Kakuzu and his arms were thick with muscle. Hidan’s features combined with his reckless demeanor could intimidate anyone, but right now he shivered like a child in Kakuzu’s arms. 

"I want you to find peace, Hidan,” Kakuzu said finally. 

"I've never been at peace."

"Neither have I, but I feel like you might have a chance at it."

Hidan pushed out of his arms and walked towards the door, “You’re wrong. I can’t even remember half of what happened. I don’t have a chance at anything, and you,” Hidan laughed despite himself, “you’re so tragic it’s pathetic.” 

After Hidan left Kakuzu sank into his chair. 

“Fuck.” 


	5. Chapter 5

Kakuzu didn’t schedule Hidan for two weeks. He couldn’t look at his face anymore after what happened. Hidan was annoying, yet attractive, rude, yet charming, and Kakuzu resented the way the younger man stared at him. It wasn’t as if Kakuzu was unfamiliar with that look- it was pity. Something he hadn’t seen directed towards him since his daughter passed. 

“Hey, Kakuzu, I’m going to grab something to eat, you want anything?” Kisame leaned against the doorframe of the breakroom. 

“No,” Kakuzu sipped his black coffee, not taking his eyes away from the papers in front of him.

“Look, Kakuzu, a couple of the guys and I are going out for drinks tonight. Why don’t you come with us. You don’t nearly get out of here enough.” 

“I have work to finish.” 

Kisame rolled his eyes, “Don’t tell me I didn’t try.” 

When Kakuzu walked back to lock up his office there was a note on his door. 

**_‘I’ll let you slide one more time. Do your job!’_ **

“Tsunade,” Kakuzu grumbled under his breath and crumpled the note in his hand.. 

\------------------------------------------------

On a rainy afternoon Hidan was told to take his lunch up to the west wing. He knocked on the office door, expecting it to be locked, but instead it inched open on its own.

"Hello?" Hidan listened to the old grandfather clock tick as he entered the office. He growled and plopped onto the loveseat with his lunch. Kakuzu was never late. In fact he was always at his desk doing some sort of paperwork even if Hidan wandered in early.

' _ Fuck this shit,' _ Hidan thought, ' _ Where is he? If I was this late he'd eat me alive." _

Hidan poked at his food for a few minutes, but settled for sitting impatiently with his arms crossed. Thoughts raced through his mind, ' _That fucking coward… he's the doctor he should've stopped it… it wasn't my fault he kissed back…_ _Why did I fucking do that… I'm a fucking idiot that's why…'_

"Hello, Hidan," Kakuzu said, rushing in and interrupting the other man's thoughts.

"Well it's about fucking time. Where the hell have you been?"

Kakuzu avoided the question, "Our session is cancelled. You can leave."

"I can -what? Leave! No way! I haven’t been here for two fucking weeks!"

Kakuzu pinched the bridge of his nose. "Leave, and don't come back until tomorrow night."

"That’s bullshit! I can't wait until tomorrow!"

"Yes you can. Now leave."

"I need to talk now! You’re my doctor! You’re supposed to help me not- not disregard me! I’ve been going crazy thinking about what happened!” 

"What happened was nothing," Kakuzu spat.

"You fucking piece of shit!" Hidan raised his voice, "What? Do you just go around kissing all of your patients?"

Kakuzu grabbed the collar of Hidan’s shirt, "Keep your voice down and listen to me. It was a mistake. If you so much as tell a soul what happened that night I swear I will make sure you suffer for the rest of your goddamn life."

"Like you could make me suffer more than I already am," Hidan sneered and Kakuzu let go. The younger man made sure the door slammed loudly behind him as he left. 

Hidan had no choice but to go back to the cafeteria until lunch was finished and then retreat to his room where he pushed himself against the wall and slid down to the floor.

He started to pray, "Lord Jashin… Please hear me. I cannot go on like this. I know I can't kill myself, but I must confess I have thoughts of doing so. Please forgive me…" He continued to pray until dinner was called, and braced himself for whatever annoying people he would have to put up with for an hour. As he left his room and started walking down the hall he noticed Ino and Shikamaru staring at him as they read a newspaper. 

"Hidan!" Hidan was turning into the cafeteria doors when he heard his name. "Hidan, my man!" Deidara strood towards him escorted by a guard. "I told you I would visit, hm," the blond man said.

Hidan was actually speechless when the other man approached him, "I didn't think you'd ever come to see me."

"Whoa, dude. You look like shit."

"And you still are shit."

The two shared a brief laugh over that small joke, and when it was over Deidara scratched the back of his head to fill the awkward silence.

"So what are you up too, hm?"

"We're forced to eat and then... I usually have a therapy session, but not tonight," Hidan sneered as he thought of his bitter encounter with Kakuzu.

"Well eat up and then you can show me around, hm?"

"It's a bunch of white walls and that's about it."

"Alright then… we'll go for an aimless walk instead, hm?"

"Sure,” Hidan said. It couldn’t hurt, and he could use all the distraction he could get at this point. 

Dinner passed and the two strolled around hallways with a guard following a good 10 paces behind.

"So how's outside?" Hidan asked.

"Crazy! Sasori has been interviewed countless times about you, and I've even been asked questions! I can't believe the protests happening to get you out of this place. It's insane, hm."

Hidan stopped walking, "What protests?"

"Hidan… do you not know?"

"I don't know anything that goes on out there! I live in a dirty bubble now!" Hidan yelled. The guard peeked his head out from behind the wall and Deidara waved him away. "What do you mean people are trying to get me out?"

"Holy shit, dude. This has been going on since the day they put you in this place. The news has been covering entire protests to change your verdict and get you back out there. There are people who want to take you away and try to “fix” you, and Sasori's been dodging the news crews for months now and I see Konan dening comments for news crews on the reg, hm."

"What do they mean... “fix” me."

“I don’t know. It’s these doctors and companies who think they can, like, reprogram you or something. That’s not all though.”

Hidan furrowed his brow.

Deidara lowered his voice to a whisper, "There's a bunch of people who really really  _ really _ want to see you dead, and, from what Sasori's told me, they want to see everyone who got you here to go down with you. People are accusing Konan of lying to the court and are fighting to get you back on death row. They've even tried to break into this place and kidnap you, hm."

Hidan stared in disbelief. "How is Konan? Is she alright?"

"Yeah… yeah she's fine. I see her alot with her man following behind on television. She's usually running from news teams, but, from what I've seen, she's a tough woman so I wouldn't worry too much, hm."

"What else is going on out there?" Hidan prompted.

"Other than that? Nothing. Same-old same-old." Deidara tried to change the subject. "Has anything interesting happened here? Any good fights or maybe hook ups, hm?" Deidara smiled and nudged Hidan on the elbow.

"No," Hidan deadpanned. 'I should just tell him,' Hidan thought, 'tell him and let this jabbermouth tell it to the entire world.'

He stopped thinking and pulled Deidara into the first open room, the greenhouse, while the guard chatted up some of his coworkers.

"Wow. Nice place, hm," Deidara stated. "Do you come here a lot? It's a little unkempt but it's better than the rest of this hell hole, hm."

"No I don't fucking come here. Deidara I have to tell you something that's happened. My doctor is a complete fucking psychopath."

“Dr. Taki?"

"When I first got here I tried to escape and the guy beat me. Then put me in a cell for weeks."

"Oh fuck, Hidan, I'm not going to lie, you look like you've seen some shit." It was true. Hidan no longer dawned the same handsome look from the courtroom all those months ago. He now had dark purple bags under his eyes, untidy hair, and desperation in his voice.

"A few weeks ago I had a session with Kakuzu and-"

"Hidan I don't care about your therapy sessions, hm. How about while I'm here we just talk about other stuff, yeah?"

Hidan fumed at Deidara's comment. "What other stuff? There is no other stuff! I eat and shit where I fucking sleep and fend off crazies from clawing my fucking face off daily! Is that what you want to hear about?"

Deidara looked around for the door, "Hidan let's get out of here, hm."

Hidan grabbed Deidara's wrist. "Why are you having a guard follow us, Deidara? Are you fucking scared? Scared that I might snap?"

Deidara started to sweat and was about to call for the guard when Hidan slammed the man against a pot and it shattered around them. Hidan grabbed the smaller man by the collar.

"Because I will fucking do it. I'll fucking murder you right here. I have nothing to lose." Hidan felt a small sting in his side as he swayed around just in time to see a syringe jabbed into his left hip and Kakuzu holding onto his arm.

"You should leave," Kakuzu said to Deidara.

Deidara skirted out of the greenhouse not saying another word. Hidan was slowly slipping into unconsciousness, but addressed the doctor with the last of his strength. "You're a fucking sicko like the rest of us. You know that, right?"

Kakuzu glared at Hidan as he watched the man faint from the drug tranquilizer. Fu appeared from behind a large red pot.

"Uncle Kuzu… are you alright?" Fu looked at Hidan and then back to Kakuzu. "That's the man that hit you a long time ago. Does he not like you?"

"He's my patient and sometimes he has outbursts just like the others that live here. He's no different from the rest of the residents, Fu."

"Is he no different than me?" Fu asked.

Kakuzu's brows lifted, "Fu look at me. Never compare yourself to the people in this place."

"But I live here too, and not everyone wants to start fights, but sometimes I don't know what's real and I need someone to help me. Like today... when I wouldn’t eat, and Dr. Haruno was going to stick the needle in my arm, and I got scared and cried."

"Yes, Fu, but Hidan is violent. We're not going to discuss this anymore."

"I can be mean too sometimes," Fu said.

Kakuzu and Fu dropped Hidan off with the guard. Then, after he took Fu to get a bath, he brought her to her room and tucked her into bed.

"I don't think I can sleep, Kuzu."

Kakuzu took a few pills from his pocket, "These will help you." Fu swallowed them and rested her head against the mattress. "Goodnight, Fu," Kakuzu said.

"Goodnight," Fu responded with a yawn.

Kakuzu hesitated before locking the door shut. His breathing became heavier as he hurried to his office and turned and locked himself inside as well. His throat tightened as he frantically looked for something in the draws of his desk. He found the small orange bottle and quickly swallowed two pills. His breathing slowed and he sat down, but when he tried to clean up the mess he made at his desk he saw it. A picture of two girls playing together. The both of them looked only three or four years old. One of the girls, unmistakingly, was a younger Fu with her short turquoise hair and toothy smile. The other girl had short brown hair put up in a small ponytail on the top of her head. Her smile wasn't as large but the happiness shown through her bright green eyes. Kakuzu couldn't stop the tears that rolled down his face. He tried to muffled his sobs with his hand as he quickly turned the picture facedown to avoid seeing his daughter's face.


	6. Chapter 6

Hidan woke up, again, in the infirmary feeling half drugged and extremely angry.

"That piece of- Kakuzu!" Hidan screamed as he thrashed against the restraints holding his wrists and ankles to the bed.

A man with long hair, the same color as Hidan's, put in a low ponytail, wiped the dust off of his glasses and pulled the curtain open.

"Sounds like someone finally woke up. I'll go get your doctor. You've been out for a while. It's practically morning. Please try not to make too much of a mess." He disappeared behind the curtain and Hidan was left fuming.

 _That piece of fucking garbage… scumbag of a fucking person… how could he fucking do this to me again…_ Hidan's thoughts consumed him and he didn't notice when the curtain was pulled back again by Dr. Sakura Haruno.

"Hi there," she said.

Hidan growled in response.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?"

Hidan scoffed, "You look young for a doctor. What are you one of those smart prodigy kids?"

She turned to the other man and put her hand to her chin in thought.

"Kabuto, do you think Hidan is fit enough to go back to his room yet?"

Kabuto looked at the chart in his hands, "He's fine. But we should gather some information for Tsunade about the incident."

Turning back to Hidan she asked, "Alright, Hidan. You have two options: go nicely to your room and rest, but you have to do your best to tell me what happened, or we can skip all that and you can go to the special activity we're having tonight before dinner. Oh, what are we doing again? I can't remember."

"Movie night," Kabuto said curtly.

"That's right! So what will it be, Hidan?"

"Are you fucking kidding me? What do I look like to you, a fucking child?" Hidan crossed his arms, but quickly uncrossed them for fear of looking immature.

Sakura used her hands to mimic scales and tilted herself to one side, "Hmm sounds like someone wants to go to movie night…"

"I hate those people!" Hidan shouted.

Sakura tilted to the opposite side, "So, an explanation and back to your room then?"

"Kakuzu is a fucking shit. That's what happened."

"Kisame said he carried you out of the greenhouse unconscious. Anything else you want to add?"

"No."

"I heard it's a musical tonight, Dr. Haruno," Kabuto said.

Hidan became visually more nervous at the thought of having to sit through a musical. "He stabbed me with a fucking needle, okay?"

"Why?" Sakura said calmly.

"I don't know! How am I supposed to know!"

"Than tell me why you think it happened. No wrong answers, Hidan."

"I told you I don't fucking know! He's a psycho! He could've fucking handled it better!"

Sakura nodded calmly in response.

Hidan surrendered, "I picked a fight with my friend… I'm sick, what do you want from me?" He was too tired to put up an argument anyway.

Sakura undid his restraints and cleared the way for him to leave, "Don't pick any more fights, and go back to the mess hall when they call you to eat and for your medicine."

"We'll you're easy to get away from," Hidan jumped out of the bed. "Want to be my shrink?"

"I know it's hard for you here, and I know Dr. Taki is, to an extent, very high stress and difficult. He is a good doctor though so listen to him. I don't want to make it more stressful here for you than it already is," Sakura leaned in closer to Hidan, "but don't mistake my kindness for weakness."

"Yeah yeah," Hidan waved her away, "I won't."

"Be careful, Hidan," Kabuto added as Hidan pushed the doors open to exit the infirmary.

Hidan left and walked back to his room. His thoughts diminished while talking to Sakura and Kabuto, but they were coming back full force, and much more emotional than usual.

 _Fuck…_ _How am I supposed to be "at peace" when the entire fucking world is against me._

He remembered what Deidara said to him about the protests, and trying to get him back on death row. He'd been through so much hell already that it physically hurt Hidan to think about going out into the world again. He imagined being dragged away in handcuffs and a muzzle as people screamed at him and then killed him.

"I’m really going to die in this place."

Lunch was called a few hours later but he didn't hear it, and when Kisame went to remind Hidan, he looked so lost and confused that Kisame decided to just let him be.

* * *

Later that night Kakuzu heard a knock at his office door.

"Come in," he said. For a moment he thought it would be Hidan, and there was a small voice in his mind that wanted forgiveness for all the hurt he caused the younger man these past few months. Kakuzu couldn't believe he'd let something so reckless as a kiss happen between the two of them, but at the same time he couldn’t help the thought of what if it happened again. and The thought created a desire that burned deep in his core. 

Kisame entered and closed the door swiftly behind him. "Hey, I'm sorry to bother you, doctor. Do you have a minute?"

"Make it quick." Kakuzu had been busying himself with grunt paperwork since his own secluded episode the other day, but still didn't want to be bothered with anything else.

"You need to talk to Hidan. That guy looks the worst I've ever seen him since he got here. He needs a professional to talk to. He's just sitting there mumbling to himself. This won’t look good if Tsunade finds out. Words got around that you went over her head."

Kakuzu looked up from his work and held his breath as Kisame continued.

"Did something happen during his therapy? I've never seen you fight with a patient, and the incidents that have been happening between the two of you are-"

"Get out, Kisame."

Kisame looked shocked and held up his hands in defense. "Fine. I'll leave, but you should do your job and help that poor kid."

Kakuzu shot up from his chair, "That _'poor kid'_ is a murderer!"

Now it was Kisame's turn to take offense. "Then maybe the both of you might have something in common! We've all heard the rumors about you! Everyone is terrified of you! Everyone except maybe your one and only patient, Hidan!”

"Then tell me, Kisame, what do the rumors say? Who do they say I killed? Was it my own daughter? Was it her mother? What about my sister? Did I kill her too? What do they fucking say about me, Kisame?!"

"I- I don't know. They say a lot of things, but that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about how maybe you can really connect with this guy! Get him to feel like he's not all alone! You should know better than anyone else in this place how it feels to be cast out! Betrayed by the people you trusted! Both of us have to deal with horrible things every single day in this hell-hole, but this thing with the press demanding to come in at every hour of the goddamn day for this kid, and the riots that my guards have to calm down every fucking week- It's fucking ridiculous!"

"Do you have a point, Kisame? Because I don't have time for your whining right now," Kakuzu gnarled.

Kisame took a deep breath. "Look, Kakuzu. I don't believe any of those things they say about you. I really don't, but what happened to you, and what's happening to Hidan, well, I can't help but see some parallels.”

Kakuzu dragged his attention back to his work while Kisame walked closer to the desk and turned over the picture frame of the two girls.

"Put it down," Kakuzu warned.

"You know I still remember babysitting her. She was the sweetest kid I ever knew. I'm not going to lie and say she wasn't a handful though," Kisame let out a small laugh, "I thought you were going to have a heart attack when you came home and saw that she finger painted all over all the walls while I was asleep."

Kakuzu bit the inside of his cheek and tightened his hands into fists. 

"I know it's hard, Kakuzu. It seems to be hard for everyone these days, but maybe it's time to let go of the past and try to make a difference for the future."

Kisame left and when the door to the office closed Kakuzu leaned back in his chair. He took a breath and put his hands over his face. _'I'm going to lose my job, and then I'm going to lose Fuu…'_ he thought. The only reason he begged for this job in the first place was to be closer to her. She was all Kakuzu had left after his daughter died. _'And Hidan…'_ Kakuzu knew months ago that he had feelings for the man, but under no circumstances was he going to put himself in danger of being pulled away from his niece. And he knew his own anger issues didn’t help the problem at all. 

_'Hidan is different. He's not crazy. He's brainwashed. He's not scared of me. I can help him...'_ Kakuzu sat anxiously as he tried to make a decision.

"Fuck!" Kakuzu was so angry he wanted to flip his desk in frustration. He placed the picture face down back inside the desk and picked up his thick wool jacket from the coat rack. As he left he locked the door behind him and vaguely thought of visiting Hidan in his room, but instead placed the key into his pocket and started towards the exit.

A light rain had begun when he finally pulled into his driveway, which, in actuality, wasn't a driveway at all. Just a plot of grass big enough for his car. Kakuzu lived a few miles off the main roads in a secluded area that used a lot of back roads. His house wasn't large or fancy. Just a log cabin with two bed rooms, one bathroom, a small kitchen, and an open living space. He opened the door and threw his bag and jacket to the floor. If one looked hard enough they could see the house was once quite beautiful, but now, being stripped of mirrors and pictures, with holes punched in the walls, clothes thrown across the floor, and dishes unwashed, it was destitute of all the warmth usually associated with a home.

Kakuzu pushed open the door to his bedroom which just contained a bed, a cheap dark wooden desk, and an old white dresser. The door creaked on broken hinges from being slammed shut so many times. He sat on the edge of his bed as thoughts of the last few months circled around him.

During one of their first sessions Hidan asked to touch the scars on his face, which Kakuzu forcefully declined, but even during those first few sessions he couldn't help but feel a small pull towards the man. And right now, as he sat pressed up against the frame of his bed he thought about those strong hands touching him again. Kakuzu closed his eyes and remembered their kiss a few weeks ago. Hidan's violet eyes looked at all of his scars, not in fear or disgust, but sympathy. He remembered Hidan's breath against his lips, and Hidan's fingers gliding up his chest. That was when Kakuzu grabbed onto the back of the younger man’s head to pull him off. Unlike Kakuzu's own hair, which was thick and rough like a lion’s mane, Hidan's hair seemed to be immune to gravity and swished through Kakuzu's hands like feathers. 

Kakuzu wanted to go further with the man. He wanted to have Hidan underneath him in bed, and calling his name. He wanted the comfort that came with being close to someone who didn't look at him like he was some sort of monster. Hidan told him once during a therapy session that while he was in prison the other inmates called him a freak. Hidan had gone on to say that even friends he'd known for years looked at him differently after everything went public. Kakuzu, no doubt, could relate. He understood how it felt to feel unwanted and mistreated by those who he thought cared for him.

Kakuzu ran his hand down his arm imagining it was Hidan leaning towards him again to grab his face for another unpredictable kiss. Now, in the dark of his room, Kakuzu felt like he made the wrong decision to cast Hidan away for so long. The mental stress must have ruined him because, god knew, Kakuzu himself was impaired from it.

Although more than 10 years had passed since his daughter's death, he was crushed in ways that were unrepairable. Kakuzu tried his best to take care of himself, and even took on boxing to try and release some of his anger, but it was useless. Hidan felt like the release he'd been longing for all this time. Now, at 48 years old, he felt so destroyed that he believed even someone like Hidan, equally ruined yet still so young, could never feel anything even close to affection towards him, and the pain within Kakuzu was so deep that adding another scar would be too much to bear. Fuu was Kakuzu's last connection to his daughter, and if he pursued Hidan he would chance losing her. Fuu herself slipped in and out of reality, and most of the time she still believed she was a little girl when she was almost 17 years old. The girl had starved herself so horribly during her pubescent years that even her body still resembled something of a small child. Fuu didn't have much time left before her disease took her by death or complete mental confusion.

That night Kakuzu slipped into a restless sleep filled with dreams of Hidan gradually losing his mind in the asylum, and Fuu all alone without Kakuzu to guide her, deteriorating to the point where she couldn't even recognize herself anymore.


	7. Chapter 7

The gray of the early morning shown through the small window in his room and he peered around his door to see a stream of residents already starting to crowd the halls. Hidan rolled his eyes and grunted.

He was completely drained of energy, but took it upon himself to sneak in a quick cold shower. When he saw the stubble on his face he left it, and quickly redressed. He was walking down the hall when he felt a tap on his shoulder.

"Hey. You okay?" Hidan turned to see Itachi. The man's voice was low, and the bags under his eyes were apparent, but he looked far more alert than Hidan did.

"What do you think?" Hidan scowled.

"I heard about what happened in the greenhouse."

"Wow. Word travels fast around here," Hidan said.

"No. It doesn't. Kisame told me."

"What are you fuckin' him?" Hidan scoffed.

Itachi's breath hitched and Hidan raised his brows. Itachi looked around and quickly pulled Hidan into an unlocked janitorial closet.

"What the fuck, Uchiha? What the hell is your problem?" Hidan yelled. Itachi slapped a hand across Hidan's mouth.

"Shut up." The room was pitch black and Hidan felt the rod of a mop pressed up against his back. The two of them stayed silent as a figure walked by the door. Hidan pulled Itachi's hand off his mouth.

"Why the hell did you drag me in here?" he whispered.

"Kisame didn't just tell me about what happened in the greenhouse," Itachi said.

"Did he tell you he wants to stick it in your ass?" Hidan reached for the door handle but Itachi stopped him.

"Tsunade is no longer going to be the head of the institution."

"So? Who cares? She's a bitch."

"The man taking over views people as objects and his ideals of morality are corrupt. The people he employs are no better."

"Fantastic. Now let me out." Hidan's depression finally stole the last of his energy away and he ached to sit down. Itachi put another hand down to stop Hidan from leaving.

"It's more serious than that. That man is the reason I'm in here."

"Itachi I can't help you, and I don't give a shit. Thank you for being the bearer of horrible news, but I can’t help you."

"Hidan listen to me. This man knows all about you and will kill you if it means he gets what he wants."

"Good. I hope he does kill me," Hidan said and slipped out of the closet. Itachi dug his nails into his palms and cursed under his breath.

Hidan knew he was doomed to die. It would either be here or out in the real world, and when it finally happened Hidan decided he would greet death with a smile like all of his scriptures said he should.

Kakuzu arrived at work unusually late, which unfortunately, did not go unnoticed by the staff.

"Good evening," Shizune said from the front desk. "You're in late. Everything okay?"

"Yes everything is fine, Shizune. I got caught up in dealing with the press today. That’s all.” Kakuzu continued walking but the woman hurried around the desk and stopped him before he could get out of the hallway.

"Wait! I have some notices for you!" She handed him a standard envelope and a few other folded papers, "And Tsunade wants you in her office for a meeting as soon as you can get there."

Kakuzu took the notices and nodded, but Shizune stepped in front of him again. "She wouldn't ask for your time unless it was important, ."

Kakuzu furrowed his brows. "Fine. Call her and tell her I'm coming up right now."

Kakuzu didn't bother knocking on Tsunade's office door.

"What is it now, Tsunade?" Kakuzu growled. He was thinking of Hidan as he stepped into the room, and how the young man might be on his way to the west wing. Kakuzu pushed the thoughts away as he angrily stepped up to Tsunade's desk.

"Are you going to answer me?" His deep voice reverberated through the room as he spun the desk chair around to face him. Kakuzu's rage immediately changed to confusion and concern when he saw the red-eyed face before him. The woman had obviously been crying, and now she looked up at him with a face full of agony.

"Tsunade, what's going on?" Kakuzu had never seen the woman so distressed before let alone seen her cry.

"They're getting rid of me," She said. "They're getting rid of me, and there's nothing I can say or do to stop it."

"Tsunade, what are you talking about?"

"What? Did you not read the damn notice? It's all over the fucking place, Kakuzu!" Tsunade leaned forward and Kakuzu smelled liquor on her breath.

"You've been drinking."

"No kidding," she took a half-empty bottle out from under her desk, "I lost the institute and I've failed my patients. Just because I'm a psychologist doesn't mean my coping strategies are perfect."

"What did you do?"

"Nothing! I did absolutely nothing! But the institute has become such a national spectacle from the whole Jashinist murder crap that the board is replacing me with some terrorist hell bent on imposing new strategies that he assures will 'give the public the peace of mind they deserve.' Whatever the hell that means!" Tsunade poured her face into her hands. "I don't know what I'm going to do…" Kakuzu tentatively put a reassuring hand on her back.

"Tsunade, who is the board replacing you with?"

"Read the damn notice, Kakuzu." Kakuzu turned to the desk and opened the envelope Shizune gave him.

_ Staff of the Amegakure Institute, _

_ This notice is to inform you that Dr. Tsunade Senju will be stepping down from her position as head medical administrator and chief director at the hospital. After recent incidents concerning demands from the public, and the Institute's board itself, Dr. Danzo Shimura will be stepping forward to reprieve Dr. Senju of her duties. Please note that Dr. Shimura will be transferring his team of medical specialists to further assist in the training of the institute's present staff to establish the new principles and high standards the Institute's board has ruled upon. _

_ Sincerely, The Amegakure Institute Board of Administrators _

"Danzo…" Kakuzu growled, "Of course he would be behind this." Danzo Shimura had been trying to gain more control over the hospital since before Kakuzu even started working there. The man was known for his questionable ethical behavior and he insisted on using dangerous experimental therapy strategies. Kakuzu saw first hand Tsunade promise death to the man for suggesting they use a painful therapy method on patients. That was years ago when Danzo was still a doctor at Ame. That particular day was the day she was voted in by the board and Danzo was transferred away.

"Tsunade, are you sure that Hidan being here is the cause of this?"

"No. I'm not sure about anything anymore." Tsunade tried to pour herself another drink, but Kakuzu took the bottle away. "Maybe it is… indirectly," She said.

"Explain what you know," Kakuzu said.

"That bastard has been after my position for years, and he used the international uproar from Hidan's case to plea for stricter rules and "safety" measures for the institute. Then he put me up for indictment against the board and won." Tsunade rubbed her temples and sighed. "He's slowly voted in all his lackeys on the board's administration over the past decade, and it’s been only a matter of time until they finally got rid of me. This was them seizing the moment." Kakuzu placed the bottle back on the desk.

"Drink up then. Sounds like you need it."

Tsunade poured the liquor into her shot glass. "I didn't call you up here to talk about me, Kakuzu. I called you here to give you a warning. After what I've been through I know that you're next on the chopping block. The board won't hesitate to use your criminal record against you if you don't comply with their rules." She drank down the swig of booze with a scowl. "They'll take Fuu away from you, Kakuzu. They'll make it so you can never see her again."

"Let them just fucking try," Kakuzu snarled. Tsunade gave a sympathetic glance and placed her hand on his.

"If you need help… I'm here. I don't like those bastards anymore than you do and, contrary to what the board is having everyone believe, I care a hell of a lot about the people in this place."

"I know you do." He gave Tsunade's hand a gentle squeeze.

“Why didn’t we work out, Kakuzu?” Tsunade rolled her eyes, “I guess I could’ve tried a bit harder on my part, but it wasn’t that bad- being with you.”

“Tsunade… all we did was fight.” 

“I miss her sometimes too, you know. She was so sweet, you must have been so proud of her.” 

Kakuzu and Tsunade dated after his wife passed, and soon broke it off when the two realized they only used each other for their own metaphorical punching bags. 

“You can’t keep blaming yourself for what happened.” 

“I don’t blame myself. Not anymore.” 

“Okay,” Tusnade took another shot, “Okay.” 

* * *

Back in his office Kakuzu studied the picture of his daughter; running his fingers over her face, and trying to remember what it felt like to hold her. He took a deep breath and glanced at the clock. Hidan was late. After stowing the picture away he picked up his office phone and quickly dialed in for the guard's office.

"Hello?" Kisame's deep and raspy voice echoed into the phone.

"Hidan is late for our session. Do you know where he is?" Kakuzu said.

"Late, huh? Could've swore I saw him make his way up there just a bit ago… Okay yeah, I'm sure I saw him head that way. He's probably in the west wing somewhere. I'm sending a guard to do a quick room sweep and I'll get the guys in security to roll back the footage from today. I'm going to start searching near the entrance to the west wing. I'll call you when we find him."

Kakuzu heard the faint buzz of Kisame using his walkie talkie to call for the guards before the phone hung up.

He didn't want to wait though. What if Hidan was in trouble? What if he'd done something to hurt himself? The thoughts were enough to make him grab a tranquilizer syringe from his medical kit and take off through the west wing.

After 30 minutes of roaming the halls, Kakuzu returned to his office and re-dialed the guard's phone. It rang with no answer. Kakuzu cursed and ran out of his office so fast that he almost slammed into Kisame.

"Holy shit, Kakuzu! Warn a guy next time you wanna jump out like that!" Kisame was obviously stressed out as much as Kakuzu about Hidan's disappearance.

"Have you found him yet?"

"No, I'm on my way to check the grounds now."

“Fine. I'm coming with you." Kakuzu reached inside the office to grab his coat and the two hurried out of the building from the west wing's fire exit.

Out on the grounds the moon light spread across the grounds of the institute. Kisame unhooked his walkie talkie and spoke into it.

"Mei, what's your 20?" There was static and then a woman's voice spoke over the station.

"10-20 Floor 2 West."

Kisame bit his lip to think for a moment, "Roger that. I need guards to the grounds."

"Roger that," Mei responded. Kakuzu looked around the area and motioned to the entrance of the institute.

"I'm going to check the gate. Have some guards meet me there and the rest search the perimeter."

"Here," Kisame threw Kakuzu a spare walkie-talkie. "Let me know if you find anything." Kakuzu caught it and the two men started off in opposite directions.

" _ I swear if he tried to get out again I'll kill him," _ Kakuzu thought. He reached the gate and searched for any sign of Hidan. He didn't see any footprints, or torn clothing from trying to jump over the gate. He definitely didn't see any kind of struggle either.

"Shit," Kakuzu cursed. ' _ What if I'm too late and he ran off already?' _ Kakuzu clipped the radio onto his pants and started climbing up the gate.

'I'm getting too old for this shit," Kakuzu mumbled under his breath. At the top of the gate he looked out over the grounds. The gate was high enough to get a better view, but all he saw was the team of guards coming to help him search at the entrance. He jumped down on the outside of the institute, and he saw the guard manning the entrance lazily reading a magazine with his feet up on the counter inside the small office. Kakuzu scowled and banged against the glass of the guard box. The guard jumped and threw the magazine up into the air. He quickly pressed the intercom to speak.

"What- wha- what's wrong?" The guard's voice was shaky and he was obviously embarrassed from being caught slacking off.

"We have a missing resident," Kakuzu roared, "Check you cameras and make sure he didn't run out because you couldn't do your goddamn job!"

"Kakuzu!" The radio in his belt buzzed with Kisame's voice. "We found something on the mid-wing cameras." 

Kakuzu pushed the button to respond. "I'm on my way." He turned towards the security guard again who was staring wide eyed at him. “Well! Open the damn thing! I’m not going to scale it again!”

The security team stayed searching on the grounds, and Kisame and Kakuzu ran back inside to the guard's station. The two bustled into a small room with at least eight monitors on the walls, and Mei, a tall woman with long red hair, focused intently on one of the screens. Kisame stepped forward to look over the woman's shoulder.

"What did you find, Mei?"

"We found him. Look at this- camera four, mid-wing." She rewinded the footage and, sure enough, there was Hidan. The monitor showed him struggling to walk up the stairs and then suddenly sitting down and holding his head.

"He's having a panic attack. We have to go find him-" Kakuzu said, but was cut off by Mei.

"Wait- watch what happens." The three watched as a little girl helped Hidan up and led him up the stairs into the west wing.

"Holy shit," Kisame squinted at the screen, "Is that..."

"Fuu," Kakuzu said, and the knot in his stomach grew tighter.

"This was over five hours ago. The cameras show them heading into the west wing, but they disappear after they get to the old ward. We don't have cameras there because that part of the building is locked down," Mei said.

"We've already checked up to the gates at the end of the west wing,” Kisame said, “They weren't there. We could check the basement. They might have gone down the west wing stairs, but it's a long shot. Mei call the team in the west wing and tell them to go down and..." Kisame turned to look at Kakuzu, "Kakuzu? Are you alright? Kakuzu?"

"I know where they are," Kakuzu said.

* * *

Hidan stole an apple from an unsuspecting resident preoccupied with making spit bubbles and headed up the stairway to Kakuzu's office. He was starving and he'd barely eaten anything since the day before. He took a deep breath and continued up the stairs, taking bites of the apple along the way. Lately all Hidan could think about were the riots happening outside the institute, and how much he missed Konan. 

" _ It's all my fault she's tied up in this fucking mess…" _ Hidan thought. " _ If I'd just pleaded guilty... none of this would be happening. I wouldn't be trapped here. I'd be fucking dead..."  _ All of the sudden Hidan's head started to pound and he dropped the apple in an attempt to regain balance on the stairs. "My fucking head…" he started whispering to himself out loud, "If I'd just killed myself after… why didn't they choose someone else to perform the ritual… I'd be dead… but Konan...I would've never met Kakuzu… " He sat down on the stairs and held his head in his hand. The other hand clutched to the railing.

"Kuzu is my uncle, you know." Hidan was startled by the ardent voice of a little girl.

"What…" Hidan's head was pounding so hard it hurt to open his eyes.

"You're the one who punched my Uncle Kuzu."

"Yeah… well he punched me first… kinda.” Hidan tried to stand, but lurched forward by accident only to have his hand caught by Fuu.

"Here's your apple," she said, handing the fruit back to him. "You dropped it." Fuu helped Hidan up the rest of the stairs and started leading him through the halls of the west wing.

"Where are we going? I think I'm going to pass out." Hidan was still holding his head, and although he could open his eyes, his breathing was starting to become affected by his sudden panic.

"Whenever I get confused Kuzu always takes me to go to my safe place."

"That's fuckin’ great, kid. I... I don't want to walk… my head…" Hidan's breath hitched as he spoke and his hands were starting to shake with every step. Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion, and he was suddenly caught by the feeling of intense fear. Fuu caught on and shushed him.

"S’okay we're almost there. Everything is fine. You're having a little bit of a confusing day that's all." As Fuu spoke Hidan could hear Kakuzu's influence on the girl. She sounded just like him, calm and assertive, so he tried to ignore the voices in his head as much as he could and let Fuu lead him through the maze-like asylum to the end of a hallway. 

"The gate's locked. It's a dead end," he said.

"There's a trick to it," Fuu roughly shook the metal of the gate and it lifted up off the ground, "I need your help to lift it higher," she said. Hidan lifted the gate over Fuu's head and the two walked under. When Hidan let the gate go it fell to the ground with a metallic bang. Fuu led Hidan to a heavy wooden door, and when she went to open it Hidan, for a moment, saw how frail she was. She looked so thin, and although her skin was dark like Kakuzu's, he could see blue veins popping out from underneath the surface.

"We're here," she whispered excitedly, and led Hidan into the room.

Hidan looked around at the small room. It was about half the size of Kakuzu's office and painted a soft blue. The floor was made of dark pine boards and the walls were decorated with colorful drawings, undoubtedly made by Fuu, of different animals and bugs. On the far wall was a colorful stained glass door leading out to a small rounded balcony. Fuu flicked on a light switch, and the room brightened from the soft glow of string lights hung around the perimeter of the ceiling.

"Nobody knows about this place 'cept me and Uncle Kuzu! He said it's one of the oldest rooms in the whole hospital!" Fuu giggled as she closed the door. She hurried over to the wall and gently removed a few drawings. Hidan slowly lowered himself to the ground and tried to focus on steady breathing instead of the manic thoughts racing through his mind.

"Look at this one!" Fuu held up a drawing of a large bug with four wings and too many legs to count.

"That… that looks like a monster," Hidan said, squinting at the illustration.

"How rude! He's one of my friends and he is very handsome!" She brought the picture to her face and gave it a kiss. "Now look at this one!" Hidan squinted in confusion at the drawing of a much too happy Kakuzu surrounded by hearts and flowers.

"That's Kuzu! I made him this drawing because he feels sad sometimes, too."

"I think you got the mouth wrong. That guy doesn't smile," Hidan said. Fuu ran back over and stuck the pictures back to the wall. She opened a small plastic tupperware and grabbed a box of markers, and then got some paper from a small wooden shelf.

"Here!" She handed a piece to Hidan. "Drawing always makes me feel better when I get crazy. I like when Kuzu draws with me. He's so funny." Fuu laid down on her stomach and started to draw. Hidan took a deep breath and closed his eyes. When he opened them he tried to pick up a marker, but his shaking hands prevented him from bringing it to the paper. He dropped it and Fuu looked up.

"You're so silly. No wonder Kuzu likes you so much."

"What does he say about me?" Hidan asked.

"That you hurt a lot of people and that's why you're here," Fuu said absentmindedly as she continued to draw.

"Your Uncle's an ass," Hidan mumbled. He tried to pick up the marker again, but his hands were still shaking.

"I'll help," Fuu said, and she took Hidan's hand and guided the marker he was holding to make a heart shape. "We're so silly! Hearts aren't green! They're red! We're so silly!" Fuu continued to laugh and Hidan saw that her lips were chapped and she had some missing teeth. Her nose was a bit runny and her eyes a little glossy as well, but her laugh was full, and it prompted Hidan to start laughing along too.

"We're so silly!" She repeated. "We're so silly!" Hidan watched as Fuu kept laughing and drawing. After she finished her picture she stuck it on the wall next to the others. She led him to a carpet with some pillows stacked against the wall and Fuu started taking out picture book after picture book. She showed Hidan her favorites, and told him which were Kakuzu's favorites. She read to him for a while, and when she struggled with the words Hidan helped her to sound them out. His headache was starting to reside and the shaking was getting better, but the panic attack left him feeling drained.

"This feels like a dream," Hidan said to her. "I'm so tired. I can barely keep my eyes open. This can't be real... can it?"

"Than let's sleep. Kuzu always says Sundays are for naps anyway."

"Oh is that… is that right?" Hidan yawned. "I didn't know it was Sunday…" Hidan rested his head against the wall and closed his eyes.

Fuu laid her head on Hidan's thigh and tried to finish reading her book, but soon her eyes became heavy as well. The little room was quiet and, as the moon’s rays drifted about, the two slept.


	8. Chapter 8

"I know where they are," Kakuzu said.

Kisame stared in disbelief, and Kakuzu spoke tentatively. "They're in the far west wing," he concentrated on the frozen close up of Fuu and Hidan on the center monitor, "They went down that way before the guards checked."

"You do know there's a locked gate, right?" Kisame asked. Kakuzu ignored the statement and started for the door, but Kisame grabbed his shoulder. Kakuzu knew his doings could potentially cause controversy at the institute, but he was hoping he could convince Kisame to keep this secret. Especially since Kakuzu didn't know how the new administration would react to the "hidden" room he created. Mei and Kisame were silent as Kakuzu tried to explain himself.

"The gate is broken and can be lifted."

Kisame sighed heavily, obviously frustrated with Kakuzu's secrecy. "Kakuzu, I'm not going to ask questions right now because the more time we talk the less we have. Mei, watch the cameras and call us if anything changes. I'm leaving you in charge for now." Kisame nodded towards Kakuzu, "Lead the way."

* * *

Hidan's head lolled to the side, and hit the wood shelf with a soft thud, waking him.

"Fuck… where the hell am I?" Hidan held his head in his hands and squeezed his eyes shut. He could only remember bits and pieces about how he arrived in the room. ' _Kakuzu's daughter brought me here… no she's his niece… his daughter's dead...'_ He opened his eyes and saw the girl asleep on his lap. ' _She looks so sick,'_ Hidan thought. Fuu laid on her side facing Hidan with her hands curled under her ear. Hidan ran his fingers through her turquoise hair, only to find thinning in some spots, and tucked it behind her ear. He looked out the window towards the setting sun. How long had he been here? Fuu slowly opened her eyes and yawned.

"Nap's over I guess, huh?" She said.

Hidan took a deep breath. His mind was mucked with nightmares of riots and memories that he didn't recognize. He felt confused and upset as if he held all the pieces but no way to put them together.

Fuu sat up and, recognizing Hidan's distress, crawled over to the wooden shelf and reached inside. She held in her hand a small, orange bottle. She whispered to him, "This is the stuff Kuzu gives me sometimes before I go to sleep," and placed the bottle in Hidan's hand, "Have some." Hidan opened the bottle and unthinkingly poured a handful of pills into his hand and swallowed them.

"Good, right?" Fuu asked.

"I don't know," Hidan mumbled. The two sat in silence for a moment before Hidan stood up and walked over to the window. When he reached the old glass door he pushed against it. The metal frame made a quick screech and Hidan pushed again, this time using his full body weight, finally opening the door and flinging it open.

"Kuzu never let me open that..." Fuu said curiously, and hurried over to meet Hidan. The two leaned against the balcony and watched the stars blink in the blue-black sky. Hidan leered down over the thin rail. They were up on the top floor so it was a considerable drop to the ground.

"If I jumped everything would just go away," Hidan said.

Fuu sighed. "Yeah, I think about that sometimes too." The two were silent for a few moments before Fuu added, "I feel like I'm trapped."

Hidan raised a brow, but quickly whipped around when he heard the door slam open and saw Kakuzu all but jump into the room. He lurched towards the balcony and yanked Fuu back into the room. "What the hell is wrong with you, Fuu! You know you're not allowed here without me! Don't you understand? What if you got hurt?" 

Fuu started to cry. "I'm sor-sorry," she sobbed. 

Hidan tried to walk forward, and collapsed onto the ground. Kisame rushed in and picked Hidan up off the floor, but found the younger man couldn’t stand. Kisame reached into his pocket, pulled out a small flashlight, and shined it into Hidan's eyes. Hidan tried to wave the light away but Kisame pinned him to the wall. "Kakuzu, get over here. Something's wrong with Hidan."

Kakuzu saw the spilled pill bottle laying on the ground and mumbled a curse under his breath. Fuu moved in closer and started to cry into Kakuzu's shoulder. He picked her up and handed her to Kisame. "Get her out of here now."

Kisame took Fuu and said, "I'm not leaving."

Kakuzu scowled at Kisame. He hurried to place a hand on Hidan's head and gasped at how hot it was. Hidan spoke weakly in delirium.

"Kakuzu?"

"Hidan, lay down now. You're not well," Kakuzu said, but before Kakuzu could restrain him, Hidan wrapped his arms around the older man's neck and planted a sloppy kiss on his lips.

"I wanna kiss you again," Hidan said, before falling to the ground with a thud.

Fuu's crying declined into soft sobs muffled by Kisame's shoulder. Kakuzu stood mortified and slowly turned to look at Kisame. With wide eyes Kisame instinctively reached for his radio and hit the talk button.

"Mei, 10-20 far west 14. I need back up and a medic ASAP," Kisame said, but hesitated on the next part.

"Don't," Kakuzu mouthed silently.

"Page Dr. Senju we have a situation, over."

* * *

"You're lucky I'm not the boss anymore or I'd fire your ass, Kakuzu!" Tsunade turned to Kisame, "And you too! You're supposed to be the eyes and ears of this place and you didn't even think to check if the west wing gates were all secure!" The woman sat back down and massaged her temples.

"Kakuzu you only have one patient! One patient! He's classified as mentally unstable, yes, but you're the most experienced doctor we have. If you can't handle him..." Tsunade sighed, "Kisame get out. I need to speak with Dr. Taki alone." Kisame tried to throw a sympathetic glance as he left, but the other man glared back in anger. The door shut and the two were alone.

"What did he tell you?" Kakuzu questioned.

"Everything."

Kakuzu went silent.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Kakuzu? You snuck Fuu into the far west wing, and left painkillers unattended! Imagine if Fuu was the one to overdose! She'd be dead!" Tsunade yelled.

"Fuu knows how many pills to take," Kakuzu said.

"Obviously not! She gave Hidan about fifteen!”

Kakuzu was speechless.

"Are you fucking serious, Kakuzu? Are you trying to ruin your career?" Tsunade's voice turned to a whisper, "because I will ruin it right here, right now, if you don't tell me the goddamned truth."

Kakuzu ran a shaky hand through his hair. It was muddled and frizzy from all the running around that night. He ran his hand down his face, and he glanced at the clock. It read 4:30am.

"Tsunade… he was delirious."

"Kakuzu, I don't have time for your whiny bullshit! Starting tomorrow I'm not going to be the one sitting in this chair! It's going to be Danzo, so if you're hiding something tell me and we can settle this now, or else he's going to be the one to find out, and you know everyone involved will suffer." Kakuzu bit his lip.

"Yes," he said simply.

Tsunade stopped her ranting and stared, "What do you mean, yes?" Kakuzu shook his head and avoided eye contact with Tsunade.

"There was an… incident."

Tsunade threw her hands up in disdain. "Oh my god, Kakuzu are you fucking kidding me?"

"Tsunade, please," Kakuzu begged. "I need this job. I need to be there for Fuu and give her what she needs and-"

"Than you should've thought about that before you started a relationship with your patient, Kakuzu!" Tsunade yelled exasperatedly. "I was rooting for you Kakuzu! I really was, but this mess... why? Why would you do that?"

"I don't… I don't know," Kakuzu said. Tsunade dropped her face into her hands and the two sat in silence.

"Is it me?" Tsunade asked.

Kakuzu looked up.

"I'm sorry… I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when she died. I didn't even know if you wanted me around anymore after we broke up. So I didn't even bother coming to see you when I heard. That was a mistake."

Kakuzu shook his head. "I don't want to talk about this."

"You never do and you never have," Tsunade said.

"You have no idea what you're saying, Tsunade. That was a long time ago."

"Do you still keep your daughter's picture in your desk? The one of her and Fuu? She looked just like you. Do you know that? I wish I could've helped after… after everything."

Kakuzu met her eyes, "You did more for me than anyone else did by helping me take care of Fuu."

"I was too late though, wasn't I? Our relationship was never the same. We can't even talk anymore without yelling at each other."

"Tsunade, our relationship was always like that. That's why it didn't work," Kakuzu said. Tsunade put her hands over her eyes.

"And when I saw you again for the first time after all those years… with all those scars. I couldn't help but think I could have done something to prevent it."

Kakuzu sighed, "You know that's not true."

"Fuck, Kakuzu. Why him?" Tsunade wiped tears away, "I knew you were lonely, but I was right here, and I thought I let you know that when I told you and Fuu to come here."

Kakuzu shook his head, "Tsunade…"

"I don't know what's going through your mind. I never have, but don't do this to yourself. If you go after him you'll lose what little you have left, and it won't be worth it."

"You're wrong."

"I'm not going to say anything, but you can do better than the hell you're making yourself live through. Why do you make yourself hold this pain in your heart? Why don't you just let it all go?" 

"Just because you tell me you're going to keep quiet doesn't mean Kisame won't say something," Kakuzu said.

"Kisame never wanted to get you into any trouble. He was reluctant to speak, but I made him talk. You're not the only one with secrets here, Kakuzu, but if you get caught again you're not going to have my mercy to bounce back from. It will be the end."

"I want to get Hidan out, and Fuu," Kakuzu said. Tsunade couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"What did you just say? Have you missed everything that has been going on for the past seven months? For the past three years? It's impossible. He either stays here or he's dead.

"Tsunade I can do it, but I need your help."

"Are you fucking crazy! Kakuzu are you listening to yourself right now? How? It's impossible! You will lose everything!"

"I don't have anything!" Kakuzu yelled, "Everything I ever had, ever loved, is gone." 

“This is too far. I won’t help you do this.”

* * *

Hidan woke up, again, in the infirmary, and moaned.

"Looks like someone's awake..." Kabuto said.

"I really hate you, four eyes." Hidan spat.

"Gonna have to do better than that," Kabuto sighed.

"Where's Dr. Haruno?" Hidan asked. 

Kabuto gave him a cocky smile, "Oh? You didn't hear?"

"No. I didn't, asshole."

"She's no longer with us. She was relocated to a different hospital. We'll miss her although I always did find her lack of creativity in treatments a bit... boring."

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"We're under new management, Hidan." 

Hidan thought back to what Itachi told him and a pit formed in his stomach. "Who's my doctor than?"

"Don't be so worried Hidan. You'll meet him in a bit." Kabuto disappeared behind the curtain and Hidan cursed under his breath. He tried to remember how he got here in the first place. ' _Fuu… the broken gate… leaning over the balcony… didn't she say she felt trapped? That she wanted to die sometimes?'_ Hidan furrowed his brow, ' _Kakuzu was there… he held me I think… no that can't be right…'_ A few minutes passed before the curtain was thrown open again. Hidan almost screamed in horror at the person who appeared behind it. A ' _man?'_ with pure white skin, long pitch-black hair, and slitted yellow eyes all but slithered towards him.

"You must be Hidan. Call me, Orochimaru. I'm the new," he threw his hands up in mock celebration, "head of medical. Fantastic. I know."

"Holy shit! You look like that bitch from _The Ring_."

"Is that a... film?"

"Yup," Hidan's response was more of frightened yelp than an answer.

Orochimaru tsked and went about looking through some charts, "Hm, I can't say I'm familiar."

"Well… ya' should look into it."

"Hm, look at these charts. No wonder everybody is so interested in you."

"What are you talking about?"

"Well," Orochimaru sat down on the bed prompting Hidan to retreat backwards into the pillows, "yesterday you overdosed on a dosage of opiates that should've killed you in an hour, yet here you are. It's almost like you're… you're... what's the word I'm looking for?"

"Immortal?" Hidan said. Orochimaru hissed in agreement.

"Precisely." Orochimaru narrowed his eyes and the two sat in awkward silence.

"Okay. I'm gonna throw up if I have to keep looking at your face," Hidan said. Orochimaru scowled and got up from the bed.

"I'm finished with you for now," he said and haphazardly yanked the I.V. from Hidan's arm.

"Oi! Fuck! Even I know you're not supposed to do that!"

"Leave, Hidan."

"Don't gotta tell me twice," Hidan leaped out of the bed and quickly left the medical wing.

Hidan strode down the hallway to the cafeteria. Good, it was lunch. Hidan quickly scanned the residents until he spotted Itachi and literally dragged him from the usual group to an empty table in the corner.

"What do you think you're doing, Hidan?" Itachi questioned. Hidan took a deep breath.

"Yesterday Kakuzu's niece took me to a room with this glass door balcony thing, and I took some happy pills that made me forget where the hell I was, and then Kakuzu busted through the wall or something and threw me to the ground, again, but then picked me up and then I think I kissed him or he kissed me, and I woke up in the infirmary, and the creepy ghost chick from _The Grudge_ is my fucking doctor, but worse." Hidan finally inhaled. Itachi was stunned.

"Wait-what did you just say?" he said, confused. Hidan started again, but slower.

"Kakuzu's niece took me to a room with a-,"

"No! After that!" Itachi said.

"Happy pills-"

"After that, Hidan." Itachi pinched the bridge of his nose.

" _The Grudge_ , but worse."

"No! Before-" Itachi growled in frustration and lowered his voice to a whisper. "Did you just say you kissed Dr. Taki?"

"Look, it's not fucking new," Hidan said, and Itachi put his face in his hands.

"Oh god, Hidan, you better not have."

"Oh yeah. We did, and you're the only one who fucking knows so you better shut your goddamn mouth about it and help me."

"With what!?"

"I gotta get out of here," Hidan said.

"Are you an idiot?" Itachi said. "There's no getting out of here, Hidan. I warned you everything was going to change for the worse, and if you keep doing stupid shit you're going to get a sentence worse than death. Trust me." Itachi got up from the table and left the cafeteria with the rest of the residents who were starting to file out of the dinning hall. Hidan waited until most of the residents were gone and then hurried up to the west wing.

He stopped at Kakuzu's door and contemplated going back to his room, but this meeting between them was long overdue, and who knew if Kakuzu would remain his doctor? Dr. Haruno was gone. Kakuzu could be next. Hidan thought about just barging in, but instead knocked on the door.

"Who's there?" came Kakuzu's deep voice.

"Who do you think?" Hidan breathed heavily as Kakuzu opened the door.

"We still have our daily sessions, yeah?" Hidan asked.

"Hidan..."

Hidan went inside and sat on the couch. Kakuzu sat in the chair across from him.

"Hidan, what happened yesterday was my fault. I'm sorry."

"Yeah," Hidan said nervously, "No problem."

"No, Hidan. It is a problem. I'm sorry."

"Look Kakuzu I feel all messed up and-"

"I'm so sorry, Hidan."

"Stop apologizing! It's fucking annoying! What happened is over! Be done with it, yeah? Look," Hidan motioned to his body, "I'm okay! So relax. I just want to talk. Please." Hidan closed his eyes, "I just want to talk to you."

"Alright," Kakuzu said.

"What the hell is going on? Are there protests happening on the outside because of me?"

"They're more like riots, but yes."

Hidan shook his head, "And Konan?"

"She's dealing with the press as best as she can."

"God, I miss her so much. It's killing me, Kakuzu. I keep having visions of her being dragged away and locked up for no good reason other than being associated with me. This whole month is a blur and I can't even remember what happened yesterday."

"Hidan. Yesterday you overdosed on-"

"Yes I fucking know that!" Hidan exhaled. "Kakuzu, this is fucked up… right? I mean this thing between us. It's fucked up, right?"

"It’s… it’s inappropriate.” 

"Did you... kiss me yesterday?"

"You kissed me."

"Hmm... could've sworn it was _you_ who _kissed_ me."

"No."

"You kissed me back though, right?"

Kakuzu scowled in response.

"Okay. Okay. That's embarrassing," Hidan murmured and looked out the window. His leg bounced up and down in anxiety. The way he spoke was borderline manic, and Kakuzu hesitated before speaking.

"I wanted to," he said, and Hidan turned his gaze back to Kakuzu.

"What?" Hidan asked.

"I couldn't because Kisame was right there, and you were delirious anyway, but it doesn't matter because Tsunade found out about everything."

"Oh shit. Are you gonna get fuckin' fired?"

"No. She couldn't do it because she's not the head of the institution anymore, and… I think there are other reasons as well." 

Hidan nodded in response, "I heard it's going to start sucking a lot worse than it already does around here."

"Things are going to be different," Kakuzu said. The two were quiet for a few minutes, and Kakuzu watched as the younger man fidgeted on the sofa until Hidan met his eyes and broke the silence.

"Do you ever think about me? Or is this all in my head?" Hidan asked suddenly, "Because I think about you all the time. I think about all of our sessions and what we talk about, and I think about what you say, and the advice you give me. Now I can't stop thinking about Fuu. Why is she trapped in this hellscape anyway, huh?"

"She has PTSD and schizoaffective disorder. She suffers from anorexia nervosa as well. She may also have Todd's syndrome. We don't know though. It’s undiagnosed."

Hidan laughed, "Kuzu, you're speakin' a different language."

"If she lived with me I would have to quit my job to be with her all the time, but that would mean I wouldn't be able to support her. It's impossible to do by myself."

"Oh," Hidan said.

"I think about you too though."

"You probably think about throwing me off the roof," Hidan smiled.

"Yes, but not all the time."

"That explains why you kissed me when I was all drugged up yesterday." 

Kakuzu rolled his eyes, “You’re unbearable.”

"Well," Hidan continued, "why you _wanted_ to anyway." 

"Hidan, how can you crack jokes at a time like this? You do know where you are right?"

"Oh I'm aware. It's just when I'm with you I feel like I'm somewhere else," Hidan said.

"Hidan..." Kakuzu couldn’t take it any longer. It’d been too long since he felt like this about someone. He needed it, wanted it, regardless of the consequences. 

"What?"

"I _still_ want to kiss you."

"Then what the fuck are you waiting for, Kuzu?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OHHH THEY MAKIN' OUT WHOOP WHOOP


	9. Chapter 9

Fire. Hidan was a raging fire, untamable and unpredictable. Kakuzu quickly closed the distance between them and kissed the younger man. Hidan parted his lips and moaned, pressing Kakuzu closer to him.

"Kakuzu…" Hidan breathed deeply against his doctor's ear. Kakuzu closed his eyes and leaned forward, moaning when he felt Hidan's tongue against his own. Heat and desire pooled low within Kakuzu, and he intensified their kiss.

Hidan felt safe in Kakuzu's arms, and far away from the rot and regret that agonized him each waking moment. If this asylum was Hell than he would make Kakuzu's touch his salvation.

He felt the older man snake a hand down his torso and stop at the waistband. Hidan opened his legs in invitation and Kakuzu seized the opportunity, grabbing hold of Hidan's thighs and wrapping them around his waist. Hidan tangled his hands in Kakuzu's hair and keened as he felt the older man kiss down his neck.

There was an unexpected knock at the door and the two men froze. Hidan was wide-eyed and Kakuzu held his breath.

A few more knocks on the door.

"Hello? Dr. Taki? Are you there?" Shizune's alarmed voice sounded from the hallway and Kakuzu took a deep breath.

"I'm in the middle of a session. Can you wait?" he said. Hidan smirked and groped Kakuzu's backside through the man's slacks. Kakuzu grabbed Hidan's wrist and mouthed an angry, "Stop it."

"I'm sorry Dr. Taki. It's urgent-" and then another voice, a hoarser, angerier voice, interrupted her.

"Unlock the door so that we may have a word. Now." Undoubtedly the voice belonged to Danzo.

Arousal suddenly disappeared and Kakuzu stood up to straighten himself out.

"What's going on?" Hidan said.

"Don't say or do anything stupid." Kakuzu walked over to the door and scowled when he finally unlocked it.

"Dr. Shimura," Kakuzu said. The man before him looked ancient, and his presence alone screamed a malevolence that could surely scare off small children.

"Let's not humor small talk, Dr. Taki," Danzo snarled, stepping into the room. Kakuzu gave Shizune a nod to leave and closed the door.

"I know what you think about me, and you know what I think about you. Besides I'm not here to chat I'm here to finally accomplish the true goals of this establishment." Danzo circled around the couch Hidan was sitting on and sat in the chair across from him.

"So this is the one everyone is talking about. Not quite the devil the news makes him out to be. Isn't that right, doctor?"

"Are you gonna keep talking to me like I'm an exhibit, or are you going to tell me who the hell you are?" Hidan said. Danzo snorted and turned to Kakuzu.

"He is a handful though. I want him down to the medical wing tonight. I have a few… treatments… the board wants to try."

"Yeah. I don't fucking think so," Hidan gnarled through his teeth. Kakuzu stepped in front of Danzo.

"The progress Hidan is making in therapy is excelling my expectations and the medications are-"

"I don't care," Danzo spat, "You'll have him down tonight, or else I'll take him myself. Do you understand that, doctor?"

"What the hell!" Hidan yelled, "I'm not doing therapy sessions with anyone else but Kakuzu. Do you understand _that_ , asshole?" The statement made Danzo raise a brow, and Hidan hated the snobbish way the wrinkled man stared at him.

"I'm used to talking to Kakuzu. I _like_ talking to Kakuzu. Isn't there something in the handbook that says it's bad to switch around patients like they're fucking beanie babies?" Hidan snarled.

"He calls you by your first name?" Danzo questioned.

"It's a compromise I've allowed," Kakuzu stated.

"It's blatant disrespect if you ask me," Danzo responded, and rose from the chair, "I'll be taking him for differential treatment this evening. As of tonight Hidan will no longer be your burden. I'll assign you different subjects to treat, but Hidan's well-being will belong to me." Hidan shot up from the couch.

"No fucking way!" Hidan was about to throw a punch when Danzo whipped his cane around and slammed it against the coffee table, breaking the glass top and shattering shards all over the carpet. Danzo turned to Kakuzu and narrowed his eyes.

"You have no control over your patient, and I am a first hand witness! You are unsuited to treat such an extreme case! Do you understand, or should I involve the board?" Danzo howled.

"Yes," Kakuzu growled.

"Good. Then we're finished here." Danzo walked out, the glass pieces fracturing under his feet with each step. The door clicked close and Hidan seethed.

"What the hell was that, Kakuzu?!" Hidan's voice came out as a hoarse whisper. Kakuzu shook his head and walked to the window.

"Are you fucking kidding me? I don't want to see that asshole! I mean, how could you let him do this?"

"I'm afraid he'll hurt Fuu if I don't comply.”

"Than fight it! He's a fucking scumbag! Say he's endangering the residents! He just broke a fucking table!"

"There's no one to go to anymore. The institute's entire board is made up of his allies." 

Hidan grabbed Kakuzu by the arm. "You know what? Fuck you. Fuck you for making me think I had somebody finally on my side." Hidan roughly let go and started for the door.

"I'm going to get you out, Hidan," Kakuzu said.

"What did you just say?"

"I'm going to get you out, and you'll be able to see Konan again, and maybe you'll..."

"I'll what, Kakuzu?"

"You can... be at peace."

"What the fuck, Kakuzu? And then what? We'll be fuck buddies in jail? Or were you preferring we drive off into the sunset? If you want me dead than just kill me now because that's a death sentence. "

"No, Hidan. I don't want that."

"This entire thing between us is fucked up! What are we gonna do? Get fucking married? You can’t just walk out of this place!"

"Just let me explain-" Kakuzu knew what he sounded like, and for the first time found himself equally ridiculous and a bit embarrassed with his idea. 

"No! This fantasy was a nice distraction from the fact that I'm going to die here and you're going to be a miserable old bastard for the rest of your goddamn life, but I just realized something, you're bat shit crazy just like the rest of us, Kakuzu! You're a fucking enigma or some shit! And I don't want to run away anymore, I told you, I'm done. I have nothing, and you proved that when you didn't even try to stop that creep from treating me like the rest of the world does. You’re a coward!" 

Kakuzu saw red. "You think you know how this world works? You made a mistake because you're a little, stupid, naive brat, and if you don't shut the fuck up and listen it's going to cost you your god-damn life! Everyone wants you dead because you made a mistake you had no idea you were even making! You're not special, Hidan. There are a million other scumbags like you out there in the world, but because I got stuck with you I have to deal with the repercussions!"

"Then leave, asshole! And stop acting like you know me, coward!" Hidan's energy was draining again, and he stumbled forward, "Everybody's gotta stop working me up like this… stop lying to me." he tried to lean on the window, but Kakuzu caught him.

"Let me help you," Kakuzu's resolve was breaking and, even though he was able to hide it well, Hidan's words wounded him.

"I don't particularly like being touched. Did I ever mention that?" Hidan muttered. Kakuzu let go of his hold.

"You need therapy," Hidan sighed.

"I need _you_ ," Kakuzu breathed softly into Hidan's neck. Hidan pushed him away and stumbled to the couch. Kakuzu was trying so hard to open up to him, Hidan could sense it. 

"Then tell me," he said.

"Tell you what?" Kakuzu asked.

"Why you're so jaded. What the hell happened to you?"

"The world is cruel," Kakuzu's frustration was apparent as he murmured out the words. 

"I know, but Fuu… She's just like you. I mean apart from throwing me against walls and punching me in the face," Hidan added and cocked a brow. Kakuzu sat down beside him.

"She's my sister's daughter."

"And your sister is?" Hidan questioned.

"Dead."

"Yeah, I thought so." 

Kakuzu wondered if Hidan really cared to know about his life. On more than one occasion he fantasized about sharing his story with someone who could understand, but the reality of it all put a pit in his stomach. So he started off slow even though the words he said now were nothing like his fantasies. "My sister's name was Kanna." 

Hidan nodded in response and crossed his arms, leaning back into the couch. "Yeah. Okay, that's a nice name. What was she like?"

"She was…" Kakuzu's mouth was dry as he tried to find a description, "troubled… but tried her best to take care of Fuu, and… she… I don't- she was… at times...I don't know." Kakuzu ran his hand down his face and started again, forcing himself to break down a decade of walls put up to hide the memories of his past. "She was there in the beginning, when Fuu was an infant, but, as Fuu got older, she decided to drink her time away. Sometimes she'd drop Fuu off and not come back for days. Weeks even. Fuu cried for her mother, and I'd tell her she would be back soon, but of course I had no idea where she was, or what she was doing. When Kanna was home she'd hit Fuu if she was too loud which, if you could imagine, was common. We fought a lot about it."

"Yeah. She loves to talk. Maybe that's why me and the kid get along so well," Hidan huffed.

"Fuu does fancy you, that's for sure. A few weeks ago she drew pictures of you and hung them all around the far west wing. It was quite traumatizing for me," Kakuzu scoffed.

"I'm sure it was," Hidan hummed. The two sat in an awkward silence.

"How did Kanna die?" Hidan asked.

"Suicide."

"Oh," Hidan took a breath, but couldn't think of anything else to say. He wasn't good at comforting people, so he opted to awkwardly pat Kakuzu on the back. It wasn't a particularly touching gesture though. He pulled up the sleeve of Kakuzu's sweater and traced a tattoo that circled the man's arm. "And what about this," he asked.

Kakuzu frowned and pulled his sleeve back down, "I was young, and stupid."

"You once told me you tried to kill someone and failed. Was this what they did to you?,” Hidan said, tracing a scar on his face, “Did they rip you to pieces?" 

Kakuzu swatted the hand away, "Yeah."

"You said you had a wife?" Hidan's curiosity was getting the better of him, and he never felt the need to know another person so badly before. It was a completely new feeling; one that excited and terrified him at the same time.

"I was engaged."

"Can I ask about your daughter or are you going to choke me out or something?"

Kakuzu bit his lip again and walked to his desk. Hesitantly, he opened the draw and reached for the picture frame. "This is her," he cleared his throat, "and Fuu." Kakuzu felt nauseous as he turned the frame over to reveal the picture. Hidan studied the image.

"Wow. She's a spitting image of you, ain't she? She's real beautiful, Kuzu." Hidan said with some astonishment. "What's her name?" He asked.

Kakuzu felt detached, drugged almost, as he tried to keep his composure. This was the first time in years since he'd spoken to anyone about his daughter this in depth, and although every inch of himself begged him to stop he spoke her name.

"Tomiko," Kakuzu whispered her name as though it was a secret. He looked down for just a moment at his shaking hands, and he tried to swallow, but his mouth was dry and his throat felt tight.

"Tomiko, eh?" Hidan said, but after a few moments of silence looked up from the picture, jumping at Kakuzu's distressed appearance, "Holy shit! Kakuzu, are you alright?"

Kakuzu felt the breakdown coming, and it was completely out of his control. Torturous memories of anguish he managed to suppress for all this time were bubbling just at the surface, clawing their way into his skin, _into his scars_ , and the pain was unbearable.

"Hidan I can't do this. Not right now." 

"I get it. I know it sucks talking about this shit. Reliving it and all that," Hidan said, putting a hand on Kakuzu's thigh, "but, honestly, it's crazy to see that you have emotions. I gotta tell ya though, It's not nearly as satisfying as I thought it would be." Kakuzu suddenly turned from Hidan and held his face in his hands.

_“Is he crying?” Hidan thought._

“Everyone thinks I killed her,” Kakuzu wept, and Hidan bit his lip. 

Hidan hesitantly placed a hand on Kakuzu’s back, “Uhhh... It’s okay?” 

Kakuzu shook the hand off and turned away again, “You should go.” 

“Wait, it’s just, well shit, that's a lot. I’m gonna need a second here,” Hidan bit his lip again, “They thought you did that? You can be a fucking asshole, but you’re a pretty nice guy, Kakuzu, you know that?” 

“Shut up,” Kakuzu said. 

Hidan rolled his eyes and tugged on Kakuzu’s shirt to bring him close again. Kakuzu resisted for a moment but turned to face Hidan. 

“They wouldn’t listen to me,” Kakuzu whispered. 

“Who?” 

“The police…my family...everyone.”

“I’ll listen to you.” 

“I was in prison for something so stupid!” Kakuzu balled his fists in indignation, “people broke into our house looking for me, and I wasn’t there-” Kakuzu choked back a sob, “So they took her. And they framed me for everything. It’s all my fault...” 

“It… wasn’t your fault.”

“They took my daughter!” Kakuzu growled, “and then Kanna killed herself, and Fuu was never the same. And I could’ve-”

“Kakuzu, stop,” Hidan grabbed Kakuzu’s wrist. 

For a moment Kakuzu was angry at Hidan, but before he could vent his frustration Hidan caressed Kakuzu’s cheek, brushing a thumb gently against his glasglow scar, “Stop blaming yourself.” 

Kakuzu stared into Hidan’s violet eyes, “Everyone turned against me.” 

Hidan smiled plainly, “Fuck them.”

Something clicked in Kakuzu’s mind and he couldn’t quite describe it. He felt fiery. Ignited. Something about the camaraderie of being with Hidan. The younger man made it feel like it was the two of them partnered together against the world.

Kakuzu, never much one for words, kissed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot describe how deep in kakuhida hell I'm in.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god I finally wrote chapter 10 y'all :') Thank you all for your wonderful comments and kudos.

“Where is he?” Danzo’s voice boomed through the operating theater. 

Orochimaru rolled his eyes, “Calm down,” he said crossing one leg over the other, annoyed. 

“You don’t know what’s on the line, Orochimaru,” Danzo snarled. 

“You’re reputation, I’m sure…” Orochimaru stood and circled around to the man’s shoulder, “Power on the line…” 

Danzo waved his hands in frustration, “It would be easier just to kill the boy!” 

“Kill him? And what would your superiors say about that? You’d make it so, so, _so_ easy for anyone to crush you back into the ground.”

Danzo growled in impatience. 

Orochimaru circled back around him. “If you want to get to the top you’re going to have to put on a little showmanship... appease the masses… entertain them,” he hissed, “Besides, it would be such a waste.” 

“You have one job, Orochimaru. You get him to admit he killed those people and whatever else it takes to put me back in my position as head of the board. That’s our deal, remember?” 

“And…” 

“And _what?_ ” Danzo spit.

“Don't you want to know how he survived? What about the truth?”

“You’ll get the truth, Orochimaru, but more likely it will be nonsense. Whatever it is, it stays in this room.” 

“You can’t tell me you’re not curious as to what _really_ happened?”

Danzo leaned in close, “The only reason I’m doing this is because _you_ insisted. Now, tell that uneducated fool, Kisame, to get his guards to bring the boy here now! I’m not waiting any longer!” 

* * *

In the short time Kakuzu and Hidan had together after their encounter with Danzo, Hidan was forcibly taken away by guards and forced out of the office. Kakuzu followed them to the infirmary which he was promptly kicked out of. So he hid in the stairwell going up to the observation level of the operating theater until he saw Kabuto walking up. Quickly, Kakuzu slid through the audience-door behind Kabuto before it closed. 

“Dr.Taki!” Kabuto was clearly surprised, perhaps a bit annoyed, at Kakuzu’s unannounced presence. “I wasn’t informed that you’d be joining observation. Only a few of us were chosen to observe tonight and well,” Kabuto laughed casually, “I don’t remember seeing your name on the list.”

Kakuzu sucked in a nervous breath. “It was… last minute.” 

“I’m sure someone as… _experienced_ as yourself wouldn’t be denied an invitation to an examination such as this, but just to make sure- I’d like to see your invitation.” 

Kakuzu ground his teeth together in aggravation, and turned to face Kabuto. “Do you think you scare me?” 

Kabuto’s lip twitched. Kakuzu stepped forward and Kabuto involuntarily flinched backwards. 

“You little rat,” Kakuzu leaned closer, “You must think you’re something special, but you’re just a pawn, and always will be.” 

“You care for him, though, don’t you? That’s why you’re here, isn’t it?” Kabuto managed. 

“He’s still _my_ patient,” Kakuzu growled. 

Kabuto fought back a laugh. “Oh, is that what you call it?” 

“What are you talking about?” 

The door opened and a few chatting students walked in and took their seats near the window. 

Kabuto smirked and pushed his glasses up his nose. “There are cameras in your office. I had them installed a few nights ago. I would say from what I saw today he’s a bit more than just your patient.” 

Kakuzu’s face dropped. 

“Don’t worry, Doctor. I’d never share such information with just anyone, but if you should interfere with my agenda well... the footage might just be given to the nearest competent reporter.

Kakuzu seethed in anger, and was about to grab him until he remembered there were others in the room. 

“Hold on there, Kakuzu! You wouldn’t want that anger of yours to get you thrown back in prison, would you? And poor Fuu… all alone with no one to take care of her.” 

The doors to the operating theater below swung open, and Hidan entered screaming and cursing against the two guards holding him.

“If you would excuse me, _Doctor_. Some of us were actually invited here.” 

* * *

“Let go of me, you bastards!” Hidan thrashed against the guards. 

Orochimaru slithered behind him. “Put him on the table and secure him down. And _don’t_ be sloppy about it.” Orochimaru took a seat next to him, and the doors slammed closed, leaving Hidan trapped in the arena. 

“What the fuck are you gonna do to me? Because you better do it quick or I’ll-”

“You’ll what?” Orochimaru questioned, “You’re tied to the table. Besides… I’m not going to hurt you,” Orochimaru shot a gaze at Danzo, “Not yet anyway.” 

Hidan stiffened, “Fuck you! Let me go you snake-shit!” 

Orochimaru tsked, “You are going to make this harder than it needs to be. And look,” he pointed a long fingernail towards the observation level, “Dr.Taki has even taken it upon himself to sneak into the theater. How noble of him to care for his one and only patient.” Orochimaru leaned close enough so only Hidan could hear, “But I’m not surprised.” 

Orochimaru turned back to the white rolling desk and grabbed a syringe, “Now… be still.” 

Hidan thrashed and pulled against the restraints. Orochimaru smiled then jabbed the needle into Hidan’s throat, slowly releasing the red liquid into the man’s veins. 

“Wha… What did you… do?” Hidan was seeing double, and his last memory was Kakuzu rushing through the doors towards him. 

* * *

The guards quickly restrained Kakuzu, forcing the man’s hands behind his back, and Danzo jumped from his chair.

“What are you doing in this theater, Dr.Taki?” the old man roared. “Do you think this is a game? This stunt is going to cost you your career! Just wait until the board-” Orochimaru shushed him. 

“Wait.” 

Danzo snarled in contempt, “And _you._ You have no place in this matter.” 

Orochimaru huffed, “Yes, yes, of course, but Dr.Taki may have just saved us some valuable time.” Orochimaru motioned for the guards to release Kakuzu. 

“I don’t care what your goals are,” Kakuzu growled, “but I’m not going to let you hurt him.” 

Orochimaru looked intrigued for a moment, “And why’s that?” 

“He’s _my_ patient.”

“Oh.” Orochimaru rolled his eyes, “Well I don’t plan on inflicting any physical pain onto him.” He shot a poisonous gaze at Danzo, “In fact no one here plans to. But I do have a proposition for you, Doctor.” 

“I’m not helping you,” Kakuzu said, “I’m here to help the boy. Not scum like you.”

“But you would be helping Hidan! Tell me, doctor, have you ever heard of hypnotherapy?” 

“Yes. I’m familiar. Is that what you're planning, hypnotherapy?”

Orochimaru smiled and hissed, “Yesss! Thatsss it!” 

Kakuzu’s face fell in confusion, “You want me to conduct a hypnosis session on Hidan? Why would you knock him out if-” He tried to get to Hidan’s side but the guards blocked his way. 

Orochimaru tsked, “He’s not completely out- just in a more,” he waved his hand in the air, “suggestive state.” 

Kakuzu gnarled his teeth, “Why are you doing this?” 

“I’m tired of this game! Guards get him out!” Danzo shouted. 

“No!” Orochimaru hissed, but quickly calmed himself, “Dr. Shimura, we all know that this mode of psychoanalysis requires trust and a... delicate touch. Let Dr.Taki perform the session. You must infer that because Hidan is more familiar with him, we have a higher chance of getting more information.” 

Danzo leaned forward onto his cane and deep wrinkles appeared above his brow.

“Information many people may find… _invaluable,”_ Orochimaru added. 

“Fine. I’ll allow it.”

“Very good!” Orochimaru cheered, “That’s two of us in agreement. Dr.Taki what do you think?”

“Answer my question.” 

Orochimaru sighed, “Well, Hidan doesn’t remember much does he? I mean… of his past that is.”

Kakuzu furrowed his brow, “And you think… you think he’ll remember more this way?” 

“And now that we have someone he trusts…” 

“He won’t hold back,” Kakuzu finished.

“Exactly! So, Kakuzu… will you do it?” 

Kakuzu took a breath, “I’ll do it, but the both of you have to watch from the audience level. He’ll do better if it’s just us.”

Orochimaru grinned, “Perfect.” 

* * *

Kakuzu sat beside Hidan, and took a deep breath. If it was true that he wasn’t fully knocked out Hidan should still be able to hear him. 

“Hidan,” Kakuzu whispered. Nothing. “Hidan,” Kakuzu said, more annoyed this time. 

“Yeah…” Hidan was in a trance. 

Kakuzu bit his lip. “Hidan, we’re going to go back into your past, alright?” 

“What?” 

“All you have to do is listen to my voice. I’m going to count down from ten, and when I get to one you’ll be back to the night… the night the Jashinists died. Okay?” Kakuzu felt sweat forming on his brow. 

“Okay.” Hidan said. 

“Ten… nine… eight… seven-” Suddenly Hidan screamed and thrashed against the restraints. 

“I can’t do it! It’s not fair!”

“Hidan, calm down, and tell me what’s happening.” Kakuzu put a hand on Hidan’s arm to try to comfort him. Kakuzu stole a look towards the observation window, and saw a grinning Orochimaru and an amused Kabuto. 

Hidan took a breath, “I can’t do it.” 

“Do what?” Kakuzu turned his attention back to Hidan.

“They’re gonna make me…” Tears streaked down Hidan’s face

“Who, Hidan?” 

“She wants me to kill them.” 

Kakuzu bit his lip. “Hidan, what’s happening?” 

Hidan was hyperventilating, “but I can’t. She put the knife in my hand… and I- and I-” 

“I’m going to count backwards from three and you’re going to be back to a time in your life when you we’re happy. Three. Two. One.” 

Kakuzu snapped and Hidan stopped thrashing. His breathing slowly returned to normal. 

“What do you see?” Kakuzu asked. 

“My mom,” Hidan said. 

“What else?” 

“Just the street we live on... We’re at a birthday party.” 

“Who’s birthday is it?” 

“Mine. I’m turning fourteen. My friend, Konan, is here.”

“Is there anyone else with you?” 

“My aunt, Kayuga. She always gives me gifts when she sees me. My mom doesn’t like it.” 

“Why not?” Kakuzu asked. 

“Because she feels like my aunt is taunting her. We’re poor and she’s rich. My aunt wants to take me away, but my mom won’t let her.” 

Kakuzu knew he was going to have to start asking specific questions if he wanted specific answers. He just needed to be smart about it. “Hidan, I’m going to count backwards from three again and you’re going to go to a significant part of your life. Three. Two. One.” 

Hidan’s breathing grew heavy and it became hard to swallow. “My aunt took me away. It’s all my fault. They gave her custody because I stole my mom’s drugs, again.” 

“Why did you steal drug’s?” 

“Because… I couldn’t do it again if I was sober.” 

“Do what again?”

“Sleep with my mom’s friends.” 

‘ _There’s something we never talked about in therapy,’_ Kakuzu thought with satire. 

“Hidan, were you forced to sleep with your mother’s friends?” 

“Yeah.” 

“So… it was okay that you left to live with your aunt Kayuga, right?”

“No. She made me do worse things.” 

_‘Fuck. I have to stop this now. It’s too much.’_

“Hidan, I’m going to count down from three and you are going to go to sleep, alright-”

“She made me hurt myself. My aunt told me to cut myself and if I didn’t- she starved me. She told me it was for God. She told me to kill a cat. Then she made me kill a dog. She told me she loved me and she kissed my head and called me special.” 

“Hidan… I’m going to count down-”

“She gave me drugs and brought me to a place far away from the city… and I read about Jashin… and everyone was so nice to me… and they called me special… and they told me they loved me. I was there for so long. Kayuga told them I was proof God was real because I survived so much pain. She told them to follow her… and they did.” Hidan’s sentences were becoming more winded and his body convulsed involuntarily. Tears started down his cheeks again. “I don’t want this! I never wanted this! I don’t want anyone to leave!” 

“Hidan, I’m not leaving. I’m right here.” 

“Kayuga said they want to die, but I don’t want them too,” Hidan cried, “She gave them all pills and they’re spitting up blood and I can’t save them! She took my hand and she’s dragging me away, but she forgot she gave me the knife. She said we have to convert more people but I can’t… I can’t go to another place and have this happen again!” Hidan’s eyes were shut so tight Kakuzu could see a vein bulging from the younger man’s neck. 

Kakuzu was putting the pieces together, “Hidan, what did you do with the knife?” Hidan was mumbling incoherently and holding back tears. Kakuzu put his hand to the man’s cheek and Hidan involuntarily leaned into it. 

“I killed her.” 


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who has been reading, leaving comments, and kudos to my story!

The theater collapsed into silence, and Kakuzu struggled to still himself as adrenaline flooded his body. 

“Hidan,” he tried with a shaky breath, “Hidan, can you hear me?” Hidan’s body was limp against the table. 

_‘Dammit… he’s out.’_ Kakuzu licked his lips trying to think of his next move, and looked up towards the large window on the second floor. 

Orochimaru looked back at him annoyed; obviously unamused with the result of the hypnosis, and turned in his seat to face Danzo. 

Kakuzu took a deep breath, and stole a glance towards the doors. They were locked, but even if they weren’t, he’d never make it by the guards with Hidan in tow. 

_‘Hidan…’_ Kakuzu thought, _‘Now is the time for one of your unpredictable moments.’_

The loud speaker that connected the top floor to the lower buzzed mechanically; and beeped with a little light. Orochimaru’s raspy voice flooded the large white theater. “Dr. Taki, your services are… appreciated, but no longer needed.” 

“What are you going to do with him?” Kakuzu squinted to try and make out the color of the beeping light.

Orochimaru rolled his eyes and the speaker clicked back on, “Doctor, we can’t hear you.” 

“I said- what are you going to do with him?” Kakuzu yelled louder this time, and Danzo grabbed the intercom.

“Kakuzu, you’ve interfered long enough! Your presence will not be missed at this asylum! You are not welcome here any longer! Guards, get him out _now!_ ”

 _‘Green,’_ Kakuzu made a mental note of the color. He gripped onto the rail of the table and shook Hidan’s chest. “Wake up!” Hidan’s unconscious body could’ve been mistaken for lifeless. 

The metal doors opened with a bang and ski-masked guards rolled Hidan out into the hallway before Kakuzu could get his bearings. 

Kakuzu grabbed the nearest guard, slamming him, and a few others to the floor in a fit of rage. He pushed patients and staff out of the way as he barged through the hall; finally making his way to the front of the pack. He yanked the ski-mask off the tallest guard and punched the man square in the nose. 

“Kakuzu get a fucking hold of yourself!” Kisame pushed Kakuzu away, and continued to run down the hall with Hidan. Kisame just about made it to the idle exit at the back of the building when Kakuzu rushed at him, and shoved the larger blue man against the stone wall. 

“Kisame! What do you think you’re doing? I’ll beat you into the ground for this-” 

Kisame pushed the table towards Kakuzu; pinning him against the opposite wall. “Kakuzu! I’m trying to get him out!”

“What?” Kakuzu breathed heavily. 

“Mei’s got an ambulance waiting for us, but we don’t have a lot of time, so are you coming or going?” 

“Nobody told me anything,” Kakuzu grunted. 

“It wasn’t exactly a planned ordeal,” Kisame huffed, and pulled Hidan’s table off of Kakuzu, “We have to go now though.” 

“Fine,” Kakuzu nodded and together the two used their backs to heave open the heavy metal basement doors. Kakuzu tried to lift the table through the exit, but it was too awkward to fit through the hatch. 

“You’re gonna have to unstrap him. I’ll carry him out,” Kisame said. 

Kakuzu freed Hidan from the bed and lifted him up to Kisame; who grabbed Hidan’s arms and pulled him out the rest of the way. Kisame laid Hidan down on the wet grass and gave Kakuzu a hand up. 

“Let’s go,” Kakuzu said. Kisame hauled Hidan over his shoulder, but when the large man took a step he winced almost dropping the living cargo. 

“Shit.” Kisame put Hidan down and bent over to inspect his ankle. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“Not all the guards we’re okay with taking him,” Kisame winced, “and one tackled me down some stairs.”

“Can you still walk?” 

“Yeah. It’s not a problem,” he went to pick Hidan up again, but stumbled down on his first step, so Kakuzu stopped him. 

“It’s too much weight on your ankle. I’ll carry him.” Kakuzu tried to haul Hidan over his shoulder, but it was too awkward and opted instead to carry the muscular man bridal style. 

“You good?” Kisame asked. 

“I’m fine. Just lead the way.” 

The two slipped through the entrance gate and quickly disappeared into the woods. They jogged through brush, mud, and over rocks until they made it to the road. Kisame flashed his light twice into the darkness and a vehicle belted to life on the opposite side of the road. Lights silhouetted the men as they ran around the truck to the back. Once the back door closed the ambulance took off and Kakuzu laid Hidan down on the bench; strapping him in so he didn’t roll off. 

“How many of the guards turned against you?” Kakuzu asked.

“Most of them. Danzo fired most of my original team, and replaced them with his goons,” Kisame found a compression bandage and started wrapping his ankle, “I got the order to have a small security team on standby near the operating theater. I had a bad feeling, so instead of sending someone else, I went with the team.” 

“How did you know I was in there?”

“I didn’t. Mei was with the two that hauled Hidan in, and just… with the things that have been happening… that those people have been doing to the residents. I didn’t believe it until I saw it for myself.” 

“What are you talking about?” 

“I guessed they’d try to keep it as far away from you as possible,” Kisame gave a sarcastic snort, “Orochimaru was calling guards at all hours of the night to pick up residents from medical, and I finally went myself to see what was going on. Kakuzu, they’re all but killing residents, and I wouldn’t even be surprised if we did a head count of everyone and found we were missing some. The resident I picked up looked like she’d been beat half to death.” 

Kakuzu huffed, “This is why Tsunade got rid of Danzo in the first place.” 

“Mei called me on the walkie before I came down tonight and we took it from there. I didn’t think we’d make it,” Kisame winced as he rested his foot on the bench, “but you didn’t make it a walk in the park either.” He banged on the truck wall and the partition opened to reveal Mei driving the ambulance. 

“A little slow on time for your taste don’t you think, Kisame?” 

“Yeah, well, I had to fight off most of the guards and then this guy, but good thing he ran after me because there was no way I was getting Hidan out of there with this.” He motioned to his now swollen ankle. 

“Where are we going?” Kakuzu asked. Kisame popped his tongue and looked at Mei. 

“We can’t go to my place. It’s right in the city,” She said.

“Fuck. Maybe we can-” Kisame started but Kakuzu cut him off, 

“We can bring him to my cabin,” he swallowed, “It’s far away enough and Danzo doesn’t know where it is. I think.” 

“Is that the best we got?” Mei said. 

“Yes. It is.” Kakuzu answered. 

“Alright. Let’s get this bad boy hidden away.” 

* * *

It was a good hour to Kakuzu’s cabin. Trying to maneuver a large ambulance along a small dirt road was apparently harder than it sounded according to Mei.

“What happens now?” Kisame tsked his tongue. 

“We hide until morning,” Kakuzu said.

“And then what?” 

“I have to get Fuu out.” 

Kisame put a hand on Kakuzu’s shoulder, “Okay. We’ll try.” 

Kakuzu shrugged him off, “I'll do it myself if I have to.” 

“Kakuzu, I know what happened tonight, but we can’t just barge in there and steal her away.” 

“We’re not stealing her! We’re rescuing her!” Kakuzu roared. 

“Okay,” Kisame put his hands up. 

“What about the other residents?” Mei asked. 

Kakuzu scowled. “We’ll get evidence about the conditions they’re living in, and bring it to the board.” 

“And if that doesn’t work?” She asked. 

“We’ll bring it to the people,” Kakuzu said. 

“Risky. I like it,” Mei winked, “but…” she looked at Hidan, “even the people aren’t going to let Hidan get out of this one easily. They want him dead just as much as Danzo does.” 

“The only reason Danzo wants him dead is _because_ the people want him dead,” Kakuzu muttered. He turnen to Mei, “I need you to get something for me.”

“What?”

“Tonight we did a hypnosis session on Hidan and he confessed to never killing anyone.

“Are you fucking kidding me? More than three years of nothing and- I mean- shit! Just like that? He didn't kill anybody?” Kisame said.

“Well… he might have killed someone, but it seemed to be in self defense.” 

“Holy shit! Is hypnosis therapy even real though? Can we trust what Hidan said?”

“Yes. It’s real, but Mei I need you to get the recording tapes. Everything in the theater is recorded onto a computer file.” 

“They could’ve deleted it! That brat, Kabuto, wiped security footage from the past two weeks!” Kisame said. 

“Maybe, but I know there’s a second recording system that hooks up to a stereo. It’s rigged to the entire room. I doubt anyone even remembers it except Danzo. The only reason I knew it was recording was because I saw the green light flashing on the loudspeaker.” 

“What are the chances there’s even a tape in that old thing though?”

“Kakuzu’s right. We have to try.” Mei said. 

“This is insane. Are you serious?” Kisame asked. 

“Yes. I’m serious,” Kakuzu said, “You two can stay here for the night. I’m going to try to call Tsunade in the morning. She might be able to help somehow.” 

“Yeah, we’re kinda fucked,” Kisame said, “What if we tried the police? I have some buddies on the force. I’d have to run a pitch by you though because I don’t know if they’d even listen to me...” Kisame sighed and put a hand on Kakuzu’s shoulder, “I’m going to be honest. You look like hell. Get some sleep. Mei and I will think of something, and we’ll regroup in the morning.” 

Kakuzu narrowed his eyes, but his shoulders quickly dropped in surrender. “Fine. Mei, the spare bedroom is over there. Kisame, theres the couch.” 

“Thanks and goodnight, Kakuzu,” Mei said with a wink, “Don’t get too frisky with Hidan. Remember he’s still unconscious.” 

Kakuzu rolled his eyes and retreated to the bedroom. The second he sat on the bed exhaustion flooded his muscles. The adrenaline was starting to waver and he desperately wanted to sleep. He looked at Hidan, and reached a hand out to stroke his hair. 

‘ _It’s so soft…’_ Kakuzu thought, _‘What are we going to do… Fuu is still in there... The only way to get to the end of this is through it.’_ Kakuzu, against his better judgement, leaned forward and nudged his nose into Hidan’s hair. _‘Is it possible for someone who’s been dragged through the mud to smell so nice?’_ Kakuzu walked to the opposite side of the bed and slid under the comforter. He ran his hands down his face, and took a deep breath. _‘He’s going to be put through the ringer again if we go through with trying to prove his innocence. If it’s even possible…’_ Kakuzu felt Hidan’s body heat and found himself turning towards it. It was unbearable to be so close to Hidan, to have Hidan right where he wanted him, but not be able to touch him. Kakuzu’s eyes drifted closed, and the somber man slowly drifted to sleep; unconsciously wrapping his arm around Hidan’s torso, and burrowing his nose into the younger man’s hair. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god Kakuzu you softy go save your niece already.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! I hope everyone is doing well, staying safe, and keeping proactive with all that's been going on. This chapter took a bit longer than I planned because I needed to rewrite it! But woohoo! It's here! I hope you enjoy it and please know that your kudos, follows, and comments have been such heart-openers! Thank you!

The dawn was grey and new when Hidan woke up. His head throbbed and his throat was dry, but it wasn’t anything he couldn’t shake off. He opened his eyes, yawning and then turning to look at the man next to him. 

“Hmmm… Kakuzu,” he hummed to himself, and closed his eyes, settling back into the bed, but after a few moments his eyes shot back open. 

“Kakuzu?!” He slammed his hand over his mouth, and then in a whisper said, “Kakuzu?” He looked back at the man, who was currently pushed up against Hidan’s side, and felt the older man’s hot breath against his shoulder. Hidan thought he looked… relaxed. 

_‘Yeah. Probably for the first time in his goddamn life,’_ Hidan scoffed. He patted himself down in the dark, but froze when he got to Kakuzu’s arm. 

“Great.” Hidan felt adrenaline rush to his already spinning head and willed it to stop. He didn’t like to be touched, and he definitely wasn’t a cuddler, but, surprisingly to him, Kakuzu’s arm didn’t bother him as much as he thought it would. He carefully moved out of Kakuzu’s embrace and sat up on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands. He took a deep breath and looked out the window. It was cracked in the corner and the blinds were broken like someone must’ve pulled too hard and detached them from the top of the frame.

 _‘What the hell is going on?’_ Hidan couldn’t remember how he got to be in bed with Kakuzu, but he remembered some of the events prior. He remembered his puke-colored room and Kisame man-handling him out of it… Kakuzu’s voice and then the feel of Kakuzu’s mouth against his own... Fuu’s little hidden room… being dragged to the old operating theater in Amagakure. Then Hidan’s mind recalled the last time he was in therapy with Sasori and Deidara. It felt so long ago, but was only a bit more than half a year since his trial.

_“Hidan, I want you to think about what you are saying.” Sasori was becoming annoyed._

_“I don’t want to think about anything! This is horse shit! You’re horse shit!” Hidan crossed his arms and sat back into the chair, “You think I like being in jail?”_

_“Obviously not, Hidan,” Sasori scoffed, “but being dead isn’t the way out of this.”_

_Hidan’s face was red with anger and he screamed in frustration. “I want this! I want to die! I must be with Jashin! Don’t act like you care! It’s none of your business!”_

Hidan closed his eyes and breathed deeply. Snippets of his life finally filling in the blank spaces in his memory. He swallowed deeply, quickly rubbing away the tears threatening to roll down his face. He could push the memories down for a while more before it completely unraveled him. 

“Hidan?” Hidan jumped at Kakuzu’s deep, drowsy voice. 

“Oi, Kakuzu, warn a guy before you decide to wake up from the dead,” He sniffed.

Kakuzu grumbled something that sounded like “you’re up early,” and sat up beside him. 

“How are you feeling,” Kakuzu asked.

“Like shit, but I’ll live,” Hidan shrugged.

“Good.” Kakuzu grabbed hold of Hidan’s shoulder and, before he could protest, pushed their mouths together in a sleep ridden kiss.

“Kakuzu, what the hell is going on?” 

“We’re at my house.” 

Hidan rolled his eyes. Kakuzu was always one for answers that never seemed to address the entire question. 

“And we got here... how?” 

“I took you from Amegakure and brought you here.” 

“Well, fuck. What the hell were you thinking?”

“It wasn’t my idea.”

“Oh.” Hidan looked down at the floor. 

“Kisame and Mei set it up, and I followed their lead.” 

“I don’t know if you remember,” Kakuzu started, but Hidan cut him off. 

“No fucking way! Did we fuck last night?” Hidan all but shouted. 

“What? No! And quiet down! Kisame and Mei slept here last night, and the walls are thin.”

Hidan took pride in the rile he got out of Kakuzu, and finally took in the older man’s drowsy appearance. “You look like you’ve been through hell.” 

In all honesty, Hidan thought Kakuzu looked rather sexy with his five-o’clock shadow and dark, brown hair cascading haphazardly over his strong shoulders. Hidan laid back on the pillows. 

“Let me guess you want to get back to sleep?” 

Kakuzu growled and moved closer to Hidan, “No.” 

“Oh yeah? Wouldn’t want you to miss any beauty sleep,” Hidan smirked. 

Kakuzu smoothed a hand down Hidan’s thigh. “Don’t be a brat.” 

“Maybe I like being a brat. Ever think about that, _Kuzu_?” 

Kakuzu rolled his eyes and squeezed Hidan’s thigh harder. “Maybe I like when you’re a brat. Ever think about that _, Hidan_?” Kakuzu drowned Hidan’s name in the same mockery of a cutesy inflection as Hidan did whenever he said, " _Kuzu."_

“You know, you’re a riot when you’re all sleepy and shit,” Hidan smirked, and crossed his arms behind his head, exposing his navel and part of his stomach. 

“Spare me,” Kakuzu mumbled, and moved his hand up the younger man’s body, eyes focused on the newly exposed skin. 

“You’re also quite the cuddler.” 

Kakuzu froze, the shock and embarrassment overcoming his drowsiness, eyes widening in dilemma. 

“Oh? You didn’t know, did you? But from the look on your face I sense maybe you did,” a shit-eating grin was plastered to Hidan’s face as he laughed, “I had to all but pry your arms off of me. I’m surprised you didn’t wake up. Anybody else would have, but you apparently sleep like a fuckin’ rock. Or...” Hidan smiled and closed his eyes, “maybe you were just too busy dreaming of yours truly.” 

The next thing Hidan knew he was yanked into Kakuzu’s lap, knees on either side of Kakuzu’s legs and the older man’s strong arms snaked around his waist. 

“Was it something like this?” Kakuzu jeered. Hidan wrapped his arms around Kakuzu’s neck, and threaded his fingers through the thick mane of hair, letting them run down the back of the man’s head, and rest behind his neck. Kakuzu growled low in response; his scalp tingling from the younger man’s touches. 

“No. This is so much better,” Hidan said, finally closing the distance between them, tilting his head and finding Kakuzu's mouth with his own, letting his tongue slide along Kakuzu’s.

“We can’t do this now,” Kakuzu said, breaking the kiss and breathing heavily in an attempt to suppress his arousal. It had been so long since he touched anyone like this, and even longer since he _let_ anyone touch him like this. 

Hidan moaned in protest, “No time like the present. You can have fun if you want to, Kuzu.”

“Don’t start,” he warned. “Get up, and get yourself ready.” 

Hidan motioned to his body. “What more can I do?” He said seductively. 

“Sometimes I forget I’m dealing with an imbecile. Well, do you have to use the bathroom, or are you gonna piss anywhere you feel like it?”

Hidan stared dumbly. “Oh,” he rubbed the back of his neck, “that’s what you meant.” 

Kakuzu mumbled something like “idiot” under his breath as he watched Hidan get up and open a closet by accident. 

“Through the door to the left,” Kakuzu said, and turned away as Hidan scampered out of the bedroom. Kakuzu was annoyed with Hidan for being, well, Hidan, but it paled in comparison with the fact that the man he wanted was so close, and he didn’t just take him then and there. He was cautious, Kisame and Mei were in the other room, it wasn’t like he could fuck him into the bed silently. But there was a deeper feeling that wrought up his anger as well; doubt. Maybe he made the wrong choice to stop because it might have been their only chance. He took Hidan from the institute and now Kakuzu was, for not the first time in his life, a criminal, and if he was caught at best he’d lose his job, and at worst he'd be imprisoned. 

Kakuzu balled his fists ready to hurt something, anything, to pacify his emotions, and was about to punch the wall when his eye caught the gleam of Hidan’s rosary on the pillow. It ran through his mind that Hidan might have taken it off in his sleep. Kakuzu stared perplexed at it and slumped back to the bed. 

_“Fuck,”_ Kakuzu thought, and picked it up, holding the silver pendent tight. It was becoming more and more obvious to Kakuzu that he didn’t particularly care about the institute. If he was honest with himself, he didn’t give a damn about any due justice for it either, and the only person that tied him to the asylum was Fuu. If he was being even more honest, hypothetically, if given the chance he’d probably rig the entire system in his favor too. Maybe even hurt people if they got in his way, and undoubtedly embezzle the place until it was dry then take Fuu and go. The only thing he wanted out of _this_ situation was Hidan, and he was chancing everything to get him. 

_“Dammit,”_ Kakuzu thought. His heart was beating so hard it felt like he had more than one. _“I’m in love with him.”_ He couldn’t believe what he was thinking, but undeniably knew what he felt because he felt it once before so many years ago. 

Kakuzu cursed under his breath, and put his face in his hands, sitting until the sun rose above the mountains. His head perked up at the smell of faint smoke, and there was a shout from outside the bedroom.

“Hidan! What the hell is wrong with you!?” Kisame shouted from the kitchen. 

Kakuzu jolted up and sprinted out of the bedroom. He was prepared for a psychotic meltdown, or even Hidan pulling a knife on Kisame or Mei, but on arrival to the scene, the pure stupidity of Hidan hit him full force. 

Mei was smothering out a small fire on the table, Kisame was using the faucet hose to put out a smoking toaster on the floor, and Hidan was covered in pink sludge. 

“I just wanted a fucking smoothie!” Hidan yelled at Kisame trying to wrestle the hose from him. 

“You don’t make smoothies in the toaster, dumbass!” 

“I was using it for the pancakes!” Hidan screamed back.

“You were what?! We should’ve left you in the asylum!” 

Hidan pulled the hose from Kisame, the force of the pull propelling him backwards, drenching the doorway in water, and with it, Kakuzu. 

Mei and Kisame went silent.

“OW! Do you have any idea how much that fucking hurt?” Hidan started, but stopped when he saw Kakuzu in the doorway. “Oi, Kakuzu. I’m so fucking sorry, man. Don’t be, uh, don’t be mad.” 

Kakuzu stared, wide-eyed and mouth ajar in disbelief. Hidan scratched the back of his head. “I’ll, uh, get you a new toaster.” 

Kakuzu blinked.

“I think you broke him,” Mei said.

Hidan carefully got up and stepped closer, “Are you okay? Kakuzu?”

Kakuzu put his face in his hands. “How?” 

“I tried to make breakfast, but it turned out crappy,” Hidan said. 

“No. Not- not that.” Hidan saw the upward turn of Kakuzu’s lips and tried to bite down his own grin. 

“How are you-,” Kakuzu was trying, with difficulty, to stifle his laughter, “how are you going to get me a new toaster?” Kakuzu pinched the bridge of his nose, struggling to keep his usual stoic attitude. “You can’t just,” Kakuzu waved his free hand around in a gesture, “go to the store! You’re a wanted criminal! And you have no money! What are you going to do? Put on a disguise, and steal a toaster?” Kakuzu leaned against the door frame, choking down his confused smile, and gaining back some semblance of composure. 

“I knew you were fun, Kuzu” Hidan jeered. 

“Shut up!” Kakuzu said, “You’re an idiot!” 

Kisame leaned against the charred counter-top and let out a sigh, “Well, at least he didn’t burn the house down.” 

“Hey! I knew what I was doing!” 

“Sure you did, kid,” Kisame said. He grabbed the dry towel from the sink and threw it at Kakuzu, “You probably need this.” 

“Well then. What a start to the day," Mei said. “Anybody want coffee?” Her question was answered quickly with an in-sync, unanimous “yes” from the group. 

* * *

Ten minutes later the four were huddled around the small living room coffee table trying to come up with something, anything to move forward. 

“Who do we go to?” Kisame said. “We need someone who will listen, and even then how do we get to them?” 

“I’ll call Tsunade, and we’ll see what she can do,” Kakuzu said. 

“All do respect to Dr.Senju. She is an amazing leader, but there's no way they'd let her just walk into Amegakure,” Mei said. "And that's what we need. Someone who can walk in there with minimal questioning." 

Kakuzu sighed. “We don’t have anyone else.” 

“What about… ah fuck it, she’s probably gonna be pissed at me,” Hidan said. 

“Who?” Kakuzu asked. 

“Konan. I mean she _is_ a lawyer. She’s wicked smart and has tons of connections but me and her, you know, we kinda had a fallin’ out,” Hidan bit his lip, “I know her number by heart though. Could call her right now.” 

Kakuzu grabbed the house phone and tossed it to him. “Do it.” 

Hidan caught it and started to punch in the numbers, but stopped. “What do I even tell her?”

Kisame stood up. “You tell her that Danzo is killing people in there, and you remember everything that happened to you. You do… you do remember, right?” 

Hidan’s eyes went dark and he looked towards Kakuzu. “Yeah. Yeah I remember.” 

“Hidan, you don’t have to tell her everything, but you have to tell her you’re alright. You have to get her to help us.” 

Hidan looked at the phone then back to Kakuzu. “Fine. Just give me some privacy I guess. I’ll be in the bedroom.” 

Hidan left and Mei spoke up, “We’re not on the news, but Hidan is. They’re saying he escaped.” 

“Great,” Kisame groaned, “So our names are probably going to pop up next.” Kisame glanced at Kakuzu, “What’s going through your mind?” 

He grinded his teeth. “I spoke to Konan once. Before I even met Hidan. The last thing she told me was that she knew how hard Hidan’s life was, and that it would probably never get easier. I didn’t know what she meant by that then, I just pushed it aside as giving up on him, but I think she’s sympathetic towards him.” 

“You think it’s because they’ve known each other for so long?” Kisame said.

Kakuzu shook his head, “I think she’s a good lawyer.” 

“Well obviously if she got Hidan out of the electric chair!” Mei snorted. 

“No,” Kakuzu cracked his knuckles, “It doesn’t matter if she’s a skilled lawyer. There's tons of those. I mean she’s a _good_ lawyer.” 

“You mean good as in…" Kisame furrowed his brow, " _good_ _?_ " He swallowed, "What are you saying? You think she knew about what actually happened to Hidan?” 

“Yes, or something like it.” Kakuzu said.

“Why didn’t she tell anybody?” Kisame said exasperatedly. 

“Who would believe her,” Mei was lost in thought putting the pieces together, “Everyone hates Hidan. He's been branded a killer for the past three years. They’ve even tried to make documentaries about him. And even if they did believe her, she doesn't have any evidence.” 

“Not any hard evidence anyway,” Kakuzu added and stood up, “We have to start gathering allies now. Konan has connections and knows Hidan...” he hesitated, “She probably knows him better than anyone. We can trust her.” 

“What about Tsunade?” Kisame asked. 

“We can trust her too,” Kakuzu said. 

“Alright. If we burn we burn together, I guess,” Mei said. 

The door creaked open and Hidan emerged biting his lip. 

“Well?” Kakuzu asked. 

Hidan smiled and jumped over the couch landing right in Kakuzu’s former seat. “She’s in, but she couldn’t talk on the phone for long, she was with her boyfriend. She said we’re going to have to meet her at her apartment, and discuss the plan of attack there.” Hidan smacked his lips, “By the way what is the plan of attack?” 

“Well, we don’t really have a-” Kisame started, but Kakuzu cut him off. 

“Fuck Danzo’s shit up,” Kakuzu said. 

Hidan grinned wide, unable to hide his attraction to the older man, “Alright! That’s what I’m fucking talkin’ about!” 

“Hold on. hold on,” Kisame said, “Just how are we going to sneak into the city. We need to leave now, and by now I mean two hours ago. It's almost rush hour, which means the people will be out to look at all of our pretty little wanted faces.” 

“We could steal a toaster,” Hidan said. For the second time that day Kakuzu was speechless. He stared at Hidan, dumbfounded yet again. 

“I mean, you know, what you said earlier, put on a disguise and steal a fuckin’ toaster.” 

“You mean to suggest we wear disguises to hide our identities?” Kakuzu said. 

“Yeah,” Hidan scratched his nose, “You got any better ideas?” The group was quiet for a moment. 

“I mean,” Kisame looked to Kakuzu, “It’s not a bad idea. I bet we could take the train in and no one would even bother if we covered our faces.” 

“You’re right…” Kakuzu said. Kakuzu spent the last ten years trying to blend in. He wore a mask whenever he needed to go into the city, and no one even stole a glance towards him. The people in the city of rain were selfish, narcissistic, and wouldn't give an outsider the time of day if they asked, not that he blamed them. “It might work.” 

“Alright then,” Hidan grabbed Kakuzu’s cup of coffee and downed it, “Let’s go steal a fucking toaster.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Moronsexual-  
> A sexuality where you like idiots and only dumbasses  
> ie. Kakuzu 
> 
> There's nothing he can do guys. He's too old for this shit.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god, I don't even know what to say. Thank you to all of you who've been waiting and sending me messages about updates. Even if you've only read it and haven't sent me anything, thank you and I hope you're really rockin' in this world we live in now. This story is written in my head, and now I just have to get it down in words. Please don't hesitate to reach out with your comments or even just to say hi. Here's chapter 13!   
> Snuck in a quick reference to my favorite Kakuhida AUs haha! Can you name them?

The four decided splitting up would be best when it came to staying anonymous. Kisame and Mei planned to walk over the large bridge connecting the outskirts to the main city, and Kakuzu and Hidan would catch the train in.

Kakuzu frowned at the back of Hidan’s head as the pair walked down the stone walkways to the station. What sounded like a passable idea in the moment, to wear disguises, now made Kakuzu second guess himself completely. Hidan was dressed in Kakuzu’s dark red sweater, a pair of his old jeans, and a sports cap he snagged, despite Kakuzu’s threats, from a kiosk a few blocks back. His old clothes were tad too large for Hidan, and Kakuzu thought it made the muscled man look almost like a teenager. 

“Ah, well, all the better to stay inco-nicholas,” Hidan responded.

“ _ Inconspicuous _ .” Kakuzu growled.

“ Gesundheit, Kakuzu . Anyway what I’m trying to say is it’s good for stayin’ under the radar,'' Hidan stretched and interlaced his fingers behind his head, “God, I’m hungry, we couldn’t of stopped at a grocery store or something on the way here?” 

“Do you even comprehend what we’re doing?” 

“I comprehend that your ass looks great in those sweatpants. The mask is a little much though.” Hidan jogged to Kakuzu’s side and hooked their arms together. For as angry and stressed as Kakuzu was in the moment, the contact felt good, almost reassuring, but he shrugged the man’s arm off. 

“Aw, come on, Kuzu! Relax. We’re practically invisible, remember? But I gotta admit, I feel a bit like Bonnie and Cylde.” 

Kakuzu’s face was as emotionally comprehensible as a stone. 

“Okay, okay… Velma and Louis?” 

Kakuzu’s eye twitched.

“Mickey and Mallory? Or maybe we’re-” Hidan didn’t get to finish before Kakuzu shoved him into a nearby ally-way and pushed him against the damp stone wall.

“What the hell! Will you chill, old man?” Hidan spat. 

“We’re criminals!” Kakuzu’s voice was a harsh whisper, “Sneaking around the outskirts of a city, and you have the audacity to make jokes!” 

“Will you just relax!” Hidan argued.

“This entire town would pay to watch you rot in a cell and you’re acting like an immature little punk.”

Hidan rolled his eyes, “Yeah, I know! Will you just let go of me?” Hidan said, but Kakuzu tightened his grip.

“You listen to me and you listen good, Hidan. We both know what’s going to happen if we let that fucker Danzo do whatever the hell he wants to whoever he wants. I’m not going to let him screw up your life or mine, or anyone else at that damn Asylum anymore. So get it together and stop acting like a brat.” Kakuzu’s tone was threatening but his eyes shone with worry and fear. 

Hidan frowned and Kakuzu let go of his arm. 

“Alright. Alright. I’ll be good I promise.” Hidan gave Kakuzu’s face a pat before he snuck back onto the street. 

Kakuzu took in a breath, and followed Hidan out of the alley.

* * *

The station was crowded, but this wasn’t unusual in any way. They were traveling into one the largest cities in the country and, in Kakuzu’s words, one of the most crime-ridden.

“That’ll be fifty-nine ryō.” The ticket seller smacked the top of the register with her fat arm and it clanked open. She breathed impatiently against the dirty window of the ticket booth and through the fogged glass her face was amphibious. Hidan snarled as Kakuzu handed her the money. 

“She looked like a frog, but at least the tickets were cheap. They must be hurting if two go for only sixty yen.” he said stepping into the train, but gagged once the smell of the train cab finally hit him. It was thick with the smell of cigarettes and sweat, and the people on the train looked just as rancid as it smelled. Old fabric patches littered the seats, rusted with years of mold, spit, and probably blood. 

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” 

“Suck it up. This train was the cheapest and will get us to the city just as fast as the others. No sense in wasting money.”

Hidan was dumbfounded. 

“This is an actual shit-hole, you know that right? You couldn’t have paid the extra hundred ryo for a decent fucking train?” 

“Don’t make a scene. Like I said, there's no point. Plus no one will find us here.” Kakuzu stopped at one of the train cabins in the back and the rusted door screamed as he slid it open. He gestured Hidan inside.

“Cheapskate,” Hidan muttered. 

“You’re lucky I didn’t make you walk over the bridge in the rain,” Kakuzu said as he slid the squealing metal door closed. 

“Yeah I’m really lucky to be sitting on these sticky seats that more people have fucked on then I can count.” 

“Well considering you can barely speak properly, I doubt you can count very high.” 

Hidan muttered back curses under his breath, but inside he was secretly relieved Kakuzu’s nerves were finally settling down. He missed this playfully-cruel banter the two used to spit back and forth at each other during his therapy sessions. 

The train left the station and Hidan leaned back against the ragged cushion, closing his eyes.

“Don’t get too comfortable. We’ll be there soon.”

“Yeah, yeah. I hear you,” Hidan said and drifted off.

* * *

Hidan thought back to just a few hours ago when he was alone in Kakuzu’s room, phone in hand, to call Konan.

He ran his hand along the messy sheets of Kakuzu’s bed, noticing the broken frame and sunken mattress. 

With all of the pent up anger the older man had, Hidan wasn’t surprised at the state of the home at all. If you could call it a  _ home _ . He let the phone drop to the floor and crawled into bed, shuffling the covers up over him and clutching a pillow to his face.

He told Kakuzu he’d call Konan, and that she could give them a safe place to think, and maybe even help them, but truthfully he just wanted to be alone. 

“Give me a break,” Hidan mumbled into the pillow. Thoughts and memories of his past flooded his mind from the moment he’d woken up that morning in Kakuzu’s arms. He thought about Fuu too. He thought of her alone with no one to play with or talk to. She was mentally ill, yes, but she was at least capable of caring for herself. It seemed to Hidan like it was more of a matter of if she wanted to or not. 

‘And Kakuzu  _ trusts _ me,’ Hidan was overwhelmed with his feelings for Kakuzu. The sound of his deep baritone voice, his stupid one word answers, and the feeling of the man’s hands on him, running along his chest… thighs… through his hair… against his lips… Hidan groaned. 

Kakuzu was so broken and emotionally starved that he latched onto the first person who could actually understand what he was going through. Why everyone thought the old geezer was a mystery was ridiculous. It didn’t take some genius psychologist to see Kakuzu was a loyal man, but so fucked by the world that he closed himself off to everything and everyone. 

‘Except for Fuu. He never let her go,’ he thought. 

In another life, maybe Kakuzu and Hidan could have been together. In a life full of domesticity, stupid arguments, and lots of sex, but this wasn’t that life. If Kakuzu were to choose him he’d lose Fuu forever. He’d lose the last person he loved. 

Hidan picked up the phone and punched in Konan’s number. It rang. 

“Hello?” Her voice was still as nonchalant as Hidan remembered. 

“Hey.”

“Oh my god.” 

“I miss you,” Hidan blurted out, suddenly holding back tears. Konan’s voice turned to a worried whisper.

“Where are you? What the hell is going on? You’re all over the news again and I’m being swamped by these idiots-” 

“I remember.” There was silence over the line and Hidan held his breath. 

“Hidan, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry,” Konan was whispering over the phone through tears, “I tried to fix everything, but-” 

“Konan, there was nothing you could’ve done. You did everything you could.”

“But that damn woman! She took you away when we were so young and I’m sorry I let her!” Konan sobbed, “Where are you?”

“I t doesn't matter where I am right now,” Hidan bit the inside of his cheek.

“What? Why? Hidan, where are you?” 

“Konan, please I just- I want-” Hidan closed his eyes and took a deep breath, “I need your help.” 

“What do you mean?”

“It’s Kakuzu.” 

“Doctor Taki? Is he with you? Are you okay?”

“I’m alright. But I need you to help get Kakuzu to his niece.” 

“His what?” 

“Her name’s Fuu and she lives at Amegakure. I need you to get her and Kakuzu out of this whole fucking thing.”

“Hidan, what are you saying? I’m trying to process all this.” 

“I don’t- I don’t know. I just,” Hidan put his head in his hand, “Are you home?” 

“I’ll be home soon.”

“I’m going to take him to you, and I need you to just call the police, so they can take me back.” 

“What?” Konan was shocked. 

“I can’t- this whole thing. Kakuzu thinks I didn’t do it- I didn’t kill all those people. He helped me remember that and, even though I didn’t, no one knows.” 

“I knew from the start! It was that woman!”

“But no one’s going to believe me. Or you, or Kakuzu, or anybody. If they want me dead or locked up then they can have me, but they can’t take Fuu away from him,” Hidan swallowed hard, “he’s so fucking broken, Konan. He lost his whole fuckin’ family, and he doesn't have anybody, but he’s trying to help me, and this whole thing is a mess and-”

“Hidan, stop. You’re going to pass out. Take a deep breath.” 

“Konan,” Hidan cried into the palm of his hand, “I just want everybody to be okay.” 

“I know, Hidan.”

“I really fucked it all up.”

“It’s not your fault.”

Hidan rubbed his eyes and said, “Please. Will you help?”

“Hidan! You’re innocent! You don’t deserve-”

“Konan will you just fucking listen to me! For once!” Hidan’s voice was an angry whisper not even he recognized. 

The phone line was silent, and Hidan apologized. 

“I’m sorry. Please… I just want this whole mess to end.” 

“Hidan.”

“I don’t see another way out of this. Fuu is such a good kid, and Kakuzu… he’s not the monster the world thinks he is, and I don’t wanna be the thing that makes him lose everything he has left. I don’t even wanna chance it.” 

“I- Hidan, this isn’t right.”

“Please,” Hidan prayed the words more than asked, "Please just help him." It took a moment but Konan finally whispered her answer.

“I will.” 

Hidan’s breath hitched in relief and he bit his lip to stop more tears from falling. 

“Thank you.” 

“I’m going to convince them it was just you who broke out. The story on the news only says Kakuzu left the Asylum with you the night you escaped. I have some friends who work at the news station and I can convince them that he was chasing you to take you back all along. I’m going to tell them it was Kakuzu who found you and turned you in.” 

“Thank you,” Hidan sighed in relief, “Thank you for doing this.” 

The line was silent again and Hidan sucked in a breath. 

“Konan?”

“Yes?”

“I love you.” 

He heard Konan break out a soft sob over the line. 

“You’re going to be fine,” she whispered. Hidan smiled and rolled his eyes. 

“When have I not been?” 

Konan laughed weakly, “I love you, too. Always. I’ll see you soon.” 

“Yeah. See you soon.”

* * *

“Hidan,” Kakuzu’s rough voice shook the younger man out of his trance, “wake up.”

Hidan stretched and yawned.

“Huh, what’s up? What’s going on?”

“We’re here, you idiot.” 

“Well  _ howdy-do _ to you too.”

The train was about a minute away from the station and Kakuzu was already up and ready to leave the cabin. 

“Wait,” Hidan said. 

“What?” Kakuzu turned to him impatiently. 

“I, uh, wanna tell ya something.” 

“You had the entire train ride to talk to me and you chose, uncharacteristically, to sleep.” 

“Hey, I wasn’t sleeping!” 

Kakuzu turned to leave but Hidan caught his wrist. 

“What is it, Hidan?” 

Hidan stood up suddenly and hugged Kakuzu, burying his face into the man’s chest. 

“I’m sorry,” Hidan said. 

Kakuzu rolled his eyes, “For what?” 

“I don't know.” 

“You’re ridiculous,” Kakuzu said and ran his hand through Hidan’s hair. 

* * *

The rainy streets of the city bustled with people as the two skirted through the masses undetected. Hidan was leading them quickly through the streets and Kakuzu stayed so close behind he could tug on the other man’s shirt if he wanted. 

“It’s right up this way.” They made a turn down a wide street to a less populated area and stopped under the awning of one of the tall buildings. 

“This is it,” Hidan breathed, “follow me.” 

Dashing inside behind Hidan, Kakuzu was surprised to find that the apartment building had a large bar underneath, crowded, probably to get out the rain, with citizens, and police. In shock he grabbed Hidan by the collar back outside. 

“Kakuzu! Oi! What’s the deal this time!”

“Hidan, there are cops all around. We’ll be recognized.” 

“Please, everyone in there is a drunk who can’t tell a ten from a two. Trust me.” When Kakuzu frowned Hidan looked into his eyes and put his hand on his shoulder. 

“Kakuzu, I promise it’ll be fine.” 

The older man thought for a moment then nodded, skirting past Hidan who followed this time.

“This way,” Hidan said, navigating them to a door at the back of the loud, darkened bar. The door opened to stairs leading to a quiet wide hallway. Once Hidan closed the door at the top of the stair silence engulfed the two, and only their footsteps could be heard as they made their way to the elevator. The elevator was older and elegantly made, and Kakuzu quite liked the style of it. 

Hidan laughed nervously, “Probably older than you.” His hands were starting to shake slightly and his pulse was rapid in his ears. Kakuzu sensed his nervousness. 

“Most likely, yes,” he said and moved close to Hidan, letting the door close. Hidan reached out to press the floor button, but Kakuzu reached for his hand, stopping him. 

“What?” Hidan said. 

“Hidan,” Kakuzu leaned in and kissed Hidan on the lips. He felt the younger man tense up for a moment, but then relax into his touch. Hidan circled his arms behind Kakuzu’s neck and leaned into him. After a few moments Hidan broke the kiss and nuzzled into Kakuzu’s neck. 

“You’re a fucking sap,” Hidan said and looked up at Kakuzu, “but I don’t want this to end.” 

“I’m not going to let it,” Kakuzu said. 

“Kakuzu, I, it's just, well, I mean- I...”

“I can’t get you to shut up for three minutes ever since I met you and all of a sudden you can’t speak.” 

Hidan laughed and used that moment to roll out of Kakuzu’s arms and push the elevator button. The elevator started moving up. 

“I just think it’s funny,” Hidan said. 

“And what is that?” Kakuzu asked.

“That, maybe, if you think about it, I mean, anything could happen,” Hidan smiled and it made Kakuzu roll his eyes and he leaned against the elevator wall, skeptical about what he was about to hear. 

“Hear me out, Kuzu. Just think about it. We’re here living in this crazy mess, but maybe, and I know I’m gonna sound fuckin’ crazy but-”

“You are crazy, but continue,” Kakuzu snickered. 

“ _ But,  _ in another life, imagine if it was all different.” 

“Are you saying you believe in reincarnation?”

“No! No, not that shit,” Hidan threw his arms up, “I mean- who knows, but that’s not what I’m sayin’!” 

Hidan smoothed out his hair with a crooked smile. 

“I’m sayin’ like what if there was a whole other  _ us _ ,” He motioned to the two of them, “in another world, that’s totally different than ours.” 

Kakuzu cocked a brow. 

The elevator stopped. 

“Imagine another life where we’re the same people, but living in a completely different situation,” Hidan tried to explain. 

“And for example?” Kakuzu prompted. 

“Like, geeze, I don’t know, like in one life maybe we’re, I don’t know, happily married.” 

Kakuzu let out a snort. 

“And in another maybe we’re like in a rock band or something, or opera singers, or living in a fuckin' trailer park or some shit.”

Kakuzu furrowed his brow. “Where are you going with this?” 

“And in another life we could be fuckin’ ninjas!” Hidan blurted, “You know?” Hidan kicked into the air, “Kickin’ fuckin’ ninja ass. But we’re not. We’re here, now, kissing in this elevator, running from these corrupt fucking people.” Kakuzu stared at him dumbfounded. 

“Ninjas?” Kakuzu said. 

“Yeah, well, I’m just using an example-”

“That’s ridiculous. What would we do as ninjas?”

“What? I don’t fucking know!” Hidan gestured wildly, “Whatever the fuck ninja’s do! Like bounty-hunt and kill people I guess, or magic ninja shit!”

“When we get out of this mess I’m going to start you on therapy again.” 

The elevator door opened, but before Hidan stepped out Kakuzu grabbed him one last time, “Hidan, we might not be living those worlds, or even a good one, but in this one, in this life, I care about you.”

"Kakuzu, I'm fucked up. I'm beyond help." Hidan bit his lip.

"I thought I was too, but you helped me." 

"Kakuzu... whatever happens I just- I want you to know that I've never felt this way about anyone and thanks", Hidan rolled his eyes, "For seeing me. You know the real me." 

Hidan kissed Kakuzu and tried to say with his kiss what he couldn't with words. 


End file.
